Choose you
by gracefull-mess
Summary: The revolting swarm of knots that had formed worsened, with each hour that passed. Agonizingly hardening in his gut until they were solid again. Set back into their old uncomfortable position, returning to his middle & spreading through his chest with a vengeance. Bringing with them the unbearable & familiar feeling of abandonment he had spent most of his life with.(season 1 to 4)
1. Chapter 1

A/N: A rewrite of Daryl and Carol's relationship - taking off in season 1. / inspired by **Afraid of Everyone by The** **National**

 **Chapter 1: Quiet Company**

The scenery surrounding the brothers may have changed but the stories leaving Merle Dixon's mouth were the same.  
Daryl took each agonizing step, knowing he had nothing better to do but grunt and nod his head, in agreement with every stupid thing his big brother said.

Merle was high as usual. And as usual Daryl had to drag him to the cover of the Forrest in hopes of hiding his brother's addiction from the rest of the group.  
It had taken him weeks to convince his brother not to rob the group in their sleep and run off.  
He argued that they wouldn't make it alone and there was simply nowhere else to go.  
Now all he could think was that this was his brother's way of making him pay for forcing them to stay. Making him Spend hours and hours alone with him, wondering around in the woods listening to his shit and accepting every insult.

Merle walked ahead of him, complaining about some junkie they both used to know. An asshole who was more than likely dead long before the outbreak.  
He had robbed Merle years ago, when he was stupid enough to let him stay over after a bender. Every so often when he was high and talking crap he would bring it up. Daryl had heard the same story more times than he could count, always wondering what Merle had expected from the heroin addict.  
Daryl had met the man a few times, but couldn't imagine turning his back on him, let alone falling asleep around him.  
As far as Daryl was concerned, Merle had no one else to blame but himself. But he was determined to keep Merle in a good mood and avoid any arguments, so he nodded, mumbling every so often about what an ungrateful asshole he was.

They walked through the cover of the trees, heading in the direction of their tent when he saw her. There was a trail near by the rest of the group used to make their way from the quarry to the campsite, but the brothers never used it. Not seeing the point when it just added to the time it took to get them back to the tent.

Daryl pretended to listen to Merle as he watched Carol stagger up the path alone. She got closer to them and he watched her puzzled, wondering what she was thinking being out there alone when she wasn't even paying enough attention to notice them.

Merle wasn't particularly loud, but he wasn't exactly hard to hear either. He wondered along slowly, watching her. He realised as she got closer that her eyes were red and she was lightly rubbing her right wrist with her left hand.  
He found himself feeling rude, and went to return to his brother's side when he heard a thud behind him. He turned scanning the area for her, but she was suddenly gone. Just like that.

Panic built quickly in his gut. Within a second his heart was racing and his breathing was rapid as he ran out onto the path. He looked around hysterically when he heard a noise from the ground, finding her face down in the dirt. He shook his head and let out a heavy sigh of relief as his body relaxed.

Carols head tuned to see the familiar black tattered boots approaching her, recognising them instantly. Within seconds she felt his rough hands tighten around her waist before he lifted her to her feet.

Daryl instantly wanted to ask the women 'what the hell she was thinking, being out here', tell her she was being stupid, but as he watched her wipe the dirt from her pants, he instantly found himself feeling like a prick. She obviously had enough people yelling at her and he had been ignoring her for weeks, he'd even seen her eyes red like this before, knowing she was hurt. But he still hadn't spoken to her, never even asked her if she was ok. The mere fact was starting to bother him more, because he wondered if anyone bothered to ask her.

"Thank you" she said speaking quietly. She looked up to see Daryl's expression, his face was soft, leaving Carol shocked.  
Daryl opened his mouth to respond but was cut off before any words left his lips,  
"Daryl". Carols eyes darted to Merle who stood a few feet away from the trail. Carol looked right at Merle but his eyes were fixed on the back of Daryl's head, his face twisted into an expression she couldn't decipher. Annoyed maybe?

Carol looked back over in time to see Daryl's eyes drop from hers, as his soft expression dissolved. Quickly his face moulded back into the hardened one she was used to seeing every afternoon, when he sat next to her and helped her with dinner. He turned away from her, leaving the trail without a word.

Carol watched as Daryl walked straight by Merle, his head down as he passed by him quickly. As if nothing had happened.

Merle began walking behind Daryl, his gaze still locked on him for a few steps. Until he seemingly followed his brother's lead, dropping his head down with him as they walked of, disappearing out of her sight.

Carol wondered for a few seconds longer, trying to understand the soft expression on Daryl's face and wondering what he would have said if they were not interrupted, until she suddenly remembered why she was out there to begin with.  
The anxiety she had only moments ago quickly returned when the throbbing in her arm began to get worse. She hurried up the path to where she had left Ed's coat to dry, after cleaning them at the quarry, quietly cursing herself for leaving up there to begin with.

* * *

She had found Ed going through his bag in the tent like a mad man looking for his coat, until she reluctantly told him where it was.  
He reached out and grabbed a hold of her arm, squeezing it in his hand,  
"What are you an idiot, do you want everything we have to get stolen" he growled out through his teeth, trying not to make too much noise.  
He squeezed her wrist tighter before using it to push her towards the door of the tent.

She wasn't paying attention to her surroundings when she tripped over the fallen branch, the tears had filled her eyes and she wiped them harshly not seeing where she was going.

* * *

He knew that if he went back now, it would make it worse when Merle finally brought up what happened on the trail. But he also couldn't stop thinking about how crappy she looked, how she was obviously too upset to notice her surroundings.

They got back to the tent and Daryl dropped his bag, crossbow and pile of dead animals alongside Merle's. He couldn't help but scan the areas as he dropped on the ground by the burnt-out fire. He noticed that the whole group was at the camp site, meaning she was at the quarry alone. And most likely unarmed.

Daryl and Merle's tent was away from the rest of the groups, the only tent that was even close to them was the Peletier's.

Daryl knew why Ed set up so far away. Merle's big mouth, drug habits and the simple fact that he just didn't play well with others was his reason. After the first week Daryl realised the reason Ed had set up so far away from everyone was because he didn't play nice with anyone, including his family.

Merle began unpacking a few things from his bag, looking for his pack of smokes when Daryl finally shook his head to himself and jumped to his feet. Merle's head snapped up watching him walk back of into the woods with his crossbow in one hand.

"Where ya goin?" Merle yelled out,  
"Takin a piss?" Daryl mumbled out angrily as he walked off to fast for any more questions. He could feel Merle's eyes on him as he headed back into the woods, but decided that his brother giving him shit was going to be easier to handle than hearing Carol scream cause a walker was making a meal out of her.

* * *

He had overheard Lori talking to Shane and Jacqui about how something had to be done, but Shane argued that there was a chance it could make everything much worse. Ed could just pack the three of them up and leave. Daryl didn't know if it was true or not, what he did know was that he heard Ed complaining more than once about their personal stash being almost completely gone. Daryl had even found a way to bring it up in a conversation with Shane. He was a cop, he had to be able to fill in the gaps. He knew Ed hated the way they ordered him around and sent him on the occasional run, making him help around the camp. He wouldn't do all that shit if he didn't know he needed them to survive. So then why? What the hell was Shane waiting for? The thought was constant and frustrating. Were they still living in the old world were pricks like him had rights? He picked up his pace, as always ignoring the hundreds of questions he had for Shane, Carol… and well, just all of them.

* * *

Daryl reached the end of the long trail just as Carol was returning to it, he stayed in the woods walking back to the camp, alongside her, but without her knowing. He kept his guard up. Gripping his crossbow tightly. Watching all the things that she wasn't. Occasionally rolling his eyes at her while she picked at the loose threads on the pricks jacket while she returned to the safety of the camp.

He watched her greet Lori and before he turned back heading through the forest until he reached his tent.  
He stumbled back to the tent casually, watching as his brother went from looking at him, to eyeing carol's return. Just as Daryl thought before he left, nothing would go unnoticed by Merle.

Carol made sure not to take notice of the Dixon brothers as she passed. She knew Ed was close by watching her while he talked to Jim and she didn't want to upset him anymore than she had

Even though she kept her head fixed in the direction of the tent, she noticed Daryl out of the corner of her eye, watching her as she walked by. But she had seen him doing it a lot, especially when he was preparing meat that she was going to cook, but it never lasted for more than a few seconds.

* * *

Carol quickly picked up the clothes Ed had scattered through the tent and left his coat folded neatly on his bag, taking a deep breath as she did, bracing herself before she had to go out and face everyone again.

Carol walked out of her tent and passed Daryl, he didn't look at her at all and waited for her to pass him before standing to his feet to follow her slowly.

Carol watched Lori leaning over Sophia pointing to something on the page, explaining something. Lori never came over to help with the cooking until all the animals were skinned and out of the way, complaining the smell and sight of blood was too much for her.

The first time Daryl cut open a deer in front of Lori she grabbed her mouth and ran off. Carol stood close by Daryl not flinching, her husband had been hunting since they met and they sight didn't faze her any more.

"Oh my god" Lori let out as she ran away, she remained at Daryl's side as she told Lori she could come along later when it was done. Lori had turned to reply when Daryl's hand suddenly ripped out a hand full of guts from the animal, Lori suddenly waved her hand at Carol not able to finish. Carol watched Lori stumbled of towards the kids, suddenly she heard the low muffle of Daryl Dixon laughing. He had his back to her and she had always regretted not seeing his face when he laughed. The cold expression seemed to be set in stone from there on after. Every day the same.

* * *

Daryl noticed that every afternoon without fail, Ed would have already positioned himself so that he could keep an eye on Carol.

On the rare occasion Ed would be off doing chores and it was almost worse. Carol would always take advantage of the situation and try to start a conversation or make a joke. Daryl forced himself to be a rude to her, never letting out more than a grunt in response, always making sure he looked as uninterested as possible. He was convinced that Ed would return when they were talking or when he wasn't looking. He knew Ed was a jealous prick who would hurt Carol if he saw them talking, then he would have to live with knowing that it could have been avoided, if he'd just avoided her.

* * *

He sat by her feet as usual skinning the animals, passing her the pieces of meat as he removed them. Daryl tried to keep his head down and ignore her as usual but when he glanced in Ed's direction he noticed he and Jim had their back to them, strolling slowly through the camp, deep in conversation. He took the opportunity to look up at her for the first time since they started getting dinner ready. She looked completely different to the women he saw in the dirt, less than half an hour ago.  
He followed her gaze to Ed and then looked back to her. He watched her shake her head to herself and looked back down to the meat on the table in front of her. He dropped his head when he realised that her arm was still sore. She tried to stay composed, but he had sat next to her every day, doing the same thing over and over, it was obvious to him she was struggling to push the blade through the raw meat.

He had helped her at the table before, he thought as he slammed the last slab of bloody meat on the table. Usually she was waiting on him, dicing each piece perfectly, so quick that he never even bothered trying to keep up with her.  
But today the meat was piled up besides the chopping bored. He thought about leaving, but Lori didn't look like she was in any rush to get over here. It was just a stew of veggies and meat so he doubted she was goanna come over and help her at all.

He stood to his feet and wiped his hand on his pants. He had to go he decided. She was fine, she was alive, and she was just chopping some dam meat.

He looked around, ready to leave in silence as usual, when he noticed that Ed was out of sight and no one seemed to be even looking in their direction. He looked over at how Carol's body was tense as she forced the knife through the meat, slowly and roughly.  
He had helped her cook before, he thought to himself again, like a chant.  
He shook his head and walked to her side.

* * *

She noticed him approach her, she had seen him staring at her while she chopped the meat. She was going to slow she thought until she saw his face. The soft concerned expression that he gave her on the trail had returned.

He moved closer to her than he ever had. His side pressed to hers.  
It all happened in a few seconds.  
His rough hand closed lightly over hers.  
Carol froze watching his hand slide the knife from her as his body lightly pushed her aside, so he could take her place.  
He nodded in direction of the assorted canned vegetables at the other end of the table. She stood stunned for a second, but noticed him looking around them too see who was watching. She took the few steps to the end of the table and began opening the cans of vegetable and rice. She seemed unable to stop herself from looking at him, catching him doing the same, before his eyes darted back down to the meat that he was slicing quickly with ease.

Carol knew he must have realised she was hurt, the only other times he had helped at the table was when there was too much to be done. Both Lori and Jacqui were sick the last time she remembered him standing next to her, but they were both so busy they barley acknowledged each other.  
The Dixon brothers were the only ones even remotely close to their tent and she couldn't help but get embarrassed thinking about what they may have overheard.  
He sat the knife down and slid the cutting board towards her with the meat on it ready to be cooked. She looked up at him trying to force a smile. No matter what he had heard or seen, he was trying to be nice. The edge of his lip curved in response, trying his best to be polite, but the rest of his face held nothing but the same overflowing concern. He took two steps back, holding eye contact with her for just a few seconds longer, before he turned around to leave her side.

At first Carol thought his concern came out of nowhere. She finished getting ready and thought about how his eyes would snap up, constantly scanning, waiting on Ed's arrival just like she was. She sighed shaking her head to herself as she stirred the rice, realising that Daryl had been avoiding her for her own sake.

* * *

The entire following week he quietly took a clean chopping board from the table, before skinning the various animals he brought back with him from hunting all day.  
He sat down at her feet as usual, but only ever passed her the smaller pieces of meat. Carol couldn't help but watch him placing the bigger pieces on the spare board. Couldn't help but feel his eyes on her face as she cut the small pieces, examining her reaction to having to make use of her sore wrist. Each day he would put the chopping board of meat on his lap, and quickly chop the larger and thicker pieces himself.  
No one seemed to notice the small change in the routine or that every now and then Carol would quietly make a joke, or smart-ass comment to Daryl. It was obvious to Daryl she was taking every chance she could to make him laugh, but he didn't really know why.

He wanted to ignore her as usual, not wanting to encourage her by letting her know he thought she was funny. Carol watched his eyes drift off, always glancing in Ed's direction, instantly nervous that he had seen her talking to him. Daryl quickly realised it was something she had already checked, only ever seeing Ed's back to them when he looked.  
Within a few days he relaxed he had completely relaxed. She had been around Ed long enough to know what she was doing he thought. So, he slowly gave in. looking at her when she spoke to him, or quietly laughing at her jokes, so no one else could hear, but her.  
He was getting tired of ignoring her and feeling like an ass. He liked her. And the more she talked to him, the more he liked her. But it only made it harder not to talk back, not to try and make her laugh too.

* * *

He found himself watching her more than he was before. Something he didn't think was possible. The effort of ignoring her, rejecting any interaction, of knowing he was just another mean prick in her life, when he wanted to be anything but,  
all of it was exhausting.

Daryl finished slicing the meat and watched Ed, who was pulling the drums of water off the back of the truck with Shane and T-dog almost out of their view.

It had been days since Ed had hurt her and less than a fortnight since the time before when she joined him to make dinner, late, with tear stained cheeks. His blood boiled as he noticed faint red mark on her neck that she attempted to rub without drawing attention to herself. He wanted to beat the crap out of him, end all the shit right there and then. But he didn't.  
He didn't do anything. And that fact gnawed at him.

He was just like everyone else. Ignoring it. Like it wasn't happening. Like the ring on her finger meant he had rights over her life. He hated himself for it. He dreaded the idea that Carol thought of him like the rest of the group, that she was nothing more than someone's property, that he was brushing the whole thing off. Just ignoring everything until something happened her. And he knew it would.

Fuck it.

He got to his feet, the tray of meat in his hands. She turned her head slightly as he slid the board along the table in front of her, getting much closer than needed. He watched her as he moved closer to her side, his arm barely touching hers, but it was enough to make his breathing heavier, his heart pound and his fingers fidget at his sides.  
He waited for her to pull away from him, because he couldn't bring himself too. He watched as a hint of a smile appeared, watched as she lightly moved into him so that his arm was completely pressed into her. Carol's Eyes were still fixed on the knife as it moved and Daryl knew he didn't have time to find the right words, he just had to come out with it.  
"You alright Carol?" her eyes snapped up to his exposed, vulnerable expression. His brittle husky voice shattered the silence they had lived in since they met,  
"I'm fine" she said so confidently he almost believed her. Daryl raised his eyebrow at the programmed response and quickly glanced at her wrist, his eyes filled with concern as they met hers again.  
"I will be fine" she said correcting herself, "it's nothing. Really", she added with a forceful edge. Carol had spoken so hopeful that she didn't understand why he flinched at the sound of the words leaving her mouth. Carol watched his jaw clench as he nodded his head lightly to himself, as if he had just realised something or made a decision. They both stood still in silence for a moment longer before Carol forced a soft smiled at him, dropping her head back down to the meat, wondering if he was enjoying the way his arms felt softly pressed up against her as much as she was.

Daryl knew he had to leave, he had been standing there for way too long, but she felt so soft and warm next to him that he couldn't just go and leave it like that.  
"Carol", his voice was controlled but darker than before. She kept her head down and continued chopping the last of the meat up, his tone making her nervous as she waited for him to continue. His hand rose from his side to touch hers, his silent request for her to stop worrying about the meat. It was just a second but the contact froze her instantly.  
"If you ever need me to do anything for ya, just let me know " he whispered as the comforting pressure of his body left hers.  
He stepped back, examining her reaction. She looked puzzled as she processed the offer, her head suddenly flicked up to him as he slowly backed away,  
"Anything at all" he added raising his brow, and eyeing her knowingly while she continued to look at him with her mouth hanging open. His calm words had a held a sinister vibe, that Carol couldn't ignore. She knew he wasn't offering to help with dinner or get her some firewood. She knew without a doubt that he had just offered to do something about her husband.

* * *

Carol watched as Daryl slammed the door to the truck, so harshly the sound made her flinch. They had all returned home safely. But no Merle.

She couldn't take her sights of his bloodshot eyes and pale complexion as he stormed through the camp. His head hung, but his shoulders were tensed as if he was trying to hold himself together as he past everyone who was greeting the returning members.  
All of their heads turned to watch him disappear into the tent, as if he were a volcano about to erupt.

Carols heart sank as he turned for a second to see them all just looking at him. Doing nothing. She wanted to run over to him and ask him if he was ok. Forgetting where she was long enough to even take a step in his direction, before remembering her husband standing next to her.  
She didn't wonder for a second longer why he had stopped on the path. She knew for certain now. She was his friend and he was hers. He just knew it before she did. He was the only person other than Lori she spent her time with, when she wasn't with Ed or Sophia.  
But it had only just occurred to her as he walked off alone, that other than Merle, she was the only one he spent any time with.

* * *

Now what? What the fuck do I do now? , the thought repeated over and over in his head as he stared at the fabric on Merle's empty sleeping bag beside him. He replaced the safety of his big brothers presence with his weapon, laying them out on the shiny green material so he could get to them all at a seconds notice. He laid unmoving, staring at them until it got so dark he couldn't see anything.

He thought he might vomit when he found Merle's hand but it was not nearly as bad as what followed. They had walked all through the city with no sign of Merle, they'd found Glen and returned to find the truck was gone. Merle had obviously taken it, that's when the familiar pain began to emerge.

He didn't like it, but he found himself conflicted on the way home. A part of him wanted to get back to the camp and find a war zone that his brother had created, at least it would have meant he hadn't just left him again. But nothing.  
Where the hell was the jackass? Even the thought was familiar and Daryl realised it as soon as the words ran though his mind.  
He'd been here before.

The fact that he was alone was just rubbed in even further when he saw the way the group looked at him before he got into his tent. Watching him like he was a Walker, like they were afraid of him. What the hell did they think I was gonna do?, the thought made him realise they didn't know him, none of them did, the only person who did had fucked of.

Daryl laid on his side, his arms wound around his stomach as they always did when he attempted to relax. As usual he couldn't bring himself to stop his arms from flexing and tensing up.

It was the lack of the weight in his hands that always sent his body into a panic. The heavy crossbow meant he was on guard and protected, that he was safe. He noticed time and time again how powerless and exposed he felt every time the weapon left his hands, especially when he had to put it down to go to asleep. It had been this way long before Merle disappeared and long before the outbreak.

Tonight, was no different to any other when it came to the bows position, he always had it pressing into his body all through the night. Always waking with his strained arms, wound tightly around him like a protective shield.

But now it was worse.

At least he had Merle next to him before and he could eventually bring himself to close his eyes, even if it was just from exhaustion.  
At least before his arms were tangled around his body because he felt vulnerable. Now he clutched his arms as tight as he could, because he felt physically sick. He laid there alone. Trying to steady his breathing, trying not to be afraid. But it didn't matter what he did, the revolting swarm of knots that had formed, worsened with each hour that passed. Agonisingly hardening in his gut until they were solid again, set back into their old uncomfortable position, returning to his middle and spreading through his chest with a vengeance. Bringing with them the unbearable and familiar feeling of abandonment he had spent most of his life with. Twisted up into the knots like old roots that had just been waiting to resurface. Making the knots stronger. Making him weaker. Making sure he knew, he was alone.

A/N: The first few chapters of this fic were written in 2015.. so I have started to go back and edit the chapters, hopefully they will be a bit easier to read.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Time out**

Carol watched Sophia sitting on the ground next to her while she cleaned dishes.  
Sophia picked nervously at the loose thread on the knee of her pants with one hand while looking around in a horrified daze. Always waiting for the monsters to come.  
Sophia was an anxious mess before the outbreak but now she had gotten to a point where she never left her agitated state, she couldn't help herself but let the stress of the situation consume her.  
Carol cringed when Ed yelled at Sophia for picking at the threads of her pants until there were holes covering her knees. But it didn't matter, she never stopped for long. The nervous twitch had taken on a life of its own.

The camping area quickly grew quiet as everyone scattered back to their chores or down to the quarry. Carol watched Sophia looking over her shoulder, towards their tent. She followed her gaze, expecting to see Ed. Daryl stumbled out of his tent, his crossbow in one hand, his bag and old boots in the other.

No one had seen Daryl in almost two days, but their tents were close enough that she could hear him move around in the night.

He looked pale even with the dirt covering him from head to toe, Carol watched him place his crossbow down and drop everything else by the two foldout chairs. She wondered what he was thinking going out there like this, but then decided he obviously just wanted to be alone.

Carol wanted to make sure he had eaten, she wasn't sure if she had heard him at night because he was going hunting for himself or just wondering around in the dark. She filled a bowl with what was left from lunch just as Sophia noticed Carl and Rick wondering of towards the trail, "Can I go?"  
"Sure, just run this over to Daryl first" Carol said passing the bowl.  
Sophia barley seemed to register the question, but still Carol watched her cautiously approach Daryl as he leaned forward lacing his boots up.

* * *

Daryl had been sitting in his hot stuffy tent all morning waiting to hear everyone leave the campsite so he wouldn't have to watch them stare at him, waiting for him to snap.

His head hung as finished lacing his boots, but his eyes shot from the task quickly when he heard the soft footsteps approaching. Daryl didn't want to look up, hoping whoever it was had just been passing by.  
"Hey" the quiet voice snapped Daryl's head up, he couldn't help but look around confused as to why the lanky kid was standing in front of him.  
"Um, hey" Daryl said as the girls walked closer to shove the bowl in his face.

Daryl looked at the bowl and over to Carol, who was doing a miserable job at pretending not to watch.  
"Here. It's for you" Sophia insisted, nudging the bowl further towards him.

Daryl shook his head slightly at himself and took the bowl, "Thanks" he barely mumbled out. Sophia weakly smiled and took one step away before whipping her head back around and running off.

He ate the food as he walked through the empty campsite over to Carol, throwing the food into his mouth with his fingers, noticing her watching him doing it, getting curious as to why she was suddenly bitting her bottom lip.

He wondered over to her side and cleaned the bowl himself with a smirk on his face. Carol continued with what she was doing, and he wondered if she was going out of her way to brush her arm against his again.

"You ok?, He just nodded putting the clean bowl aside, "I'm alright" he answered unable to take his eyes off her hands, as they moved over to his so her fingers could graze lightly along his. The touch was minor but it made him realise he wanted more from her, not like the curious thoughts he had had before about her, he wanted the comfort that he could see she wanted to give him.  
She was the only person left who cared about him at all, the only one who cared if he ate or if he was ok. The only one who didn't look at him like he was a dangerous animal.  
He watched as her eyes as he let his fingers run over hers and lie there, "I'll be back in a few hours". Carol forced a smiled at him and nodded before he finally had to look down and find the strength to ply his skin from hers.

Daryl knew she didn't want him to go out like this, he was a tired mess. Honestly, he wanted the excuse to sit next to her while they made dinner and he couldn't do that without some meat. He would at least have that time with her, he could distract himself from everything when he was with her.

* * *

Carol watched on the sidelines as Ed got more and more frustrated with Rick and Shane but neither one of them would budge. It had been two weeks since the groups had gone out to look for supplies, two weeks since they lost Merle. As much as the group hated to admit it, Merle was needed.  
Daryl couldn't help but smile to himself, amused that they were coming up short without that asshole. He found it almost hilarious that someone needed him for something positive. But they were going to need to replace him. He should have been going out more than he was, but he had gotten away with slacking off. Until now.

Daryl leaned up against his truck trying to act as uninterested as possible, but he was obviously standing by waiting for Ed to lose his cool. He could even see Glenn and T-dog making their way over as Ed's voice got louder and louder.  
"It's just how things are, we lost Merle, we need someone to replace him on runs and you have experience with weapons." Shane repeated, obviously growing tired of the argument.

"What about the Hick why doesn't..", Rick quickly raised his hand before Ed could continue, looking over to see if Daryl had any plans to retaliate but Daryl didn't move an inch or change his guarded expression.  
"Daryl is the only one we have left with hunting experience, who is willing to go out there, he helps everyone and only risks himself"  
Carol noticed Daryl's face remain flat and emotionless while they talked about him like he wasn't two feet away, she waited for a flash of pride in his eyes but they remained fixed on Ed as he twisted the bolt in his fingers.

Carol could only imagine what was running through his mind as he looked Ed up and down, quiet obviously waiting to attack.

Ed continued to complain about the new arrangement. But it didn't matter Shane had made his mind up and the more Ed went on, the more Daryl started to realise all this anger getting built up was going to end somewhere.  
Daryl suddenly couldn't believe that no less than a minute after thinking about killing him, he found himself alongside Shane and Rick, trying to calm him down. He hated it. Every fuckin second of it. But he did it. He stood there and tried to reason with this asshole, tried to tell him that everyone was in the same boat.  
He tried to work with Shane and Rick, to make Ed see that this really was just how things were. The only thing that kept him going through the conversation was the fact that Ed was going to have to go out there. And he was going to die out there. One day soon. He was sure they would just come back from a bad run and Ed won't be with them.

* * *

Daryl chewed his lip long after the taste of blood entered his mouth and it only got worse when she finally walked through the camp. He dropped his head back down when he realised that Ed was watching her too.

Daryl moved his hands faster, trying to act like he wasn't interested in her getting closer to him. She moved past him quickly to her regular spot at the table and began preparing dinner. Daryl took one glance up to find Ed still in the same spot, watching her like a hawk.

Daryl gripped the knife tighter in his hand and began chopping the meat roughly, scraping the flesh from the bone with much more force than was necessary.

He didn't want to get the job done quickly but he couldn't slow his hands, his knuckles turned white as he finished pulling the last of the meat off.  
He noticed Ed moving closer to them, flicking his cigarette to the ground a few feet away from Daryl.

Daryl found his eyes locked on the cigarette still burning in front of him and wondered what the moron wanted.  
"You hurry up now, ya hear" Daryl's head snapped up to see the back of Ed before he kept walking away leaving Carol nodding nervously, her hands shaking as she struggled to use the can opener. Daryl didn't know when he had gotten to his feet but he was pretty sure it was sometime around 'hurry up'. The knife was still in his hand, but now it felt heavy, like a magnet dragging him to Ed.  
Without a second thought he took a step in his direction. "Stop" the whisper was weak but forceful. He looked at her properly since the first time she had gotten close, even if she wouldn't look at him.

She wanted him to stop. To not lose it. But her eyes were already red and glassy and wondered where the bruises were hidden.  
"Fuck", he didn't mean to say it out loud, but it came out anyway. He dropped the knife on to the end of the table, letting his fingers flex out as they loosened of the handle. He couldn't look at her like this. He felt his finger close back into his palm, his fingernails digging into the rough hardened skin until it stung.

He couldn't listen to him talk to her like that, and he was sure as fuck that he shouldn't be letting him. He was sure because of the sick twisted feeling he got in his gut as soon as Ed opened his mouth, making him want to shut it permanently. But he couldn't. She didn't want him too and he didn't get it, he didn't know what she was waiting for. But mixed in with the rage and frustration he had for Ed was something else and as soon as it hit him. As soon as he came to sudden realisation, it was all he could think about.

He didn't say anything or look at her again. He couldn't. He just turned and left.

Fuckin Moron is right, he thought. I know exactly who the fuckin moron is.  
He was just her friend and nothing else, he was the idiot reading into small touches and glances, and thinking… whatever the fuck it was, that he was thinking.

He was slipping now. He was getting closer every day. Closer to her and closer to losing it with Ed. And he realised it would be a big fuckin waste of his time because she had no plans to leave him.

She was just as fucked up as he was, he just didn't know why it took him so long to see it.

If she could just walk away she would have, long before she met him, hell, he would have fucked off on Merle and his old man. But he didn't. How could he expect her to do something he could never do himself?

The problem was if he kept this shit up he'd lose her, if he did nothin he was gonna loose her. There was no happy ending insight. Not that he was surprised, there was always going to be that part of him waiting for her to leave him. Always. That part of his head was out of his control, it always had been, if it wasn't he would be a very different person who had a very different life. He would have a clue on how to help himself, and her.

* * *

"Comin or not?"

He couldn't help but look over his shoulder. He knew Ed was gone with the others on a run, but still this just seemed risky. And stupid, really, really stupid.

He couldn't help but feel like she liked seeing him standing there like an idiot without a clue. All it would take is one of the others to open their big mouths and Ed would try to kill her and him.

"Fine, I'll go alone" she said casually with a smile before turning towards the trail and briskly walking off.

He rolled his eyes and followed her, he knew Dale was watching but thankfully the rest of the group seemed too busy to notice him following the married women into the woods.

He knew this was coming in some form, one way or another. He had been obviously going out of his way to avoid her, even when they made dinner he moved fast and stayed away from her, avoided eye contact at all costs. It had become a hobby, but the time it took to avoid her, kept her in his mind constantly. It had been days and it was killing him, not looking at her, right back to where they were.  
He wanted to move his tent more than anything, just so he wouldn't have to see her so fuckin much, but at the same time he knew he could never bring himself too, if something happened he wanted to be there. That's when he realised he could stay close and stay away from her at the same time.

But right now. After days of nothing. He found he was unable to help himself. He followed her even if it was going against his plan, even though she was probably just taking him off to question how he had been treating her. It didn't matter why she wanted him to go off with her because the thought of being alone with her for the first time was far to inviting.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Ready or not**

He followed her every step.

He was trusting her to lead the way and relying on his ears to pay attention to their surroundings. Because he couldn't seem to tear his eyes from the sweat forming on her neck. He watched each drop emerge from her hair, run over her spine and out of his sights, dropping below her shirt.

It took 34 drops for him to have the sudden realization that he needed to get the fuck out of this camp.  
40 drops before he thought about going on a long ass hunting trip,  
And 47 before he thought about making it a permanent one.

He couldn't stop himself. He could see that now as he reached 60, just as she stopped and spun around.

He dropped his gaze to the ground and folded his arms around himself, taking a step back when he realised just how unnecessarily close he was to her. He didn't know what to say or do. What she wanted from him.

He looked up just enough to see her hands twisted together in front of her stomach, rubbing and pulling at each other. She was covering her skin in red blotches, as if she was anxiously trying to pull the skin off.

"Are you mad?" she stuttered out softly, the nervousness radiating from her making him feel sick.  
He couldn't win.

Of course, he was mad, he was fucking furious. This whole thing was getting more and more fucked up by the second and he couldn't seem to pull his shit together enough to stop it, but he wasn't mad at her. He put the crossbow down, so he could explain himself without a weapon in his hand.

He quickly looked up to see, that the smile he followed here, had disappeared.

He blamed the quietness of the quarry, as if something inside of him knew that they were alone.

His hand suddenly drifted out until his fingers were tangled into hers. He watched as her long thin digits, making her finally stopped picking and pinching at her skin, freezing completely as soon as his rough calloused hand hit hers.

He managed to force his stare up to gauge her reaction, focusing on the slight curve that appeared on her mouth. He felt bold, it was something so simple and he had done it before. But this wasn't the same as a stolen touch of comfort, surrounded by the entire camp.

He could feel a pull between them. It was like they had an elastic band around them, dragging them together. He gave in and let it draw him closer to her. The step he took had their hands pressed between them. He could feel her fingers wrapped up with his, pressing into his stomach.

All thoughts of leaving had disappeared and were replaced with absurd fantasies of her bare skin on his, her hands tangled into his hair and running all over him.

Fuck it. He'd gone this far, ripping his bottom lip through his teeth.

He lifted his free hand up cautiously to her shoulder, finally letting his fingers seek out the drop of sweat on the back of her neck.

He glided his fingers up and wiped the cool moisture into his skin. He heard her breathe his name out, as she looked up at him.

He was mesmerized by the feel of being this close, of feeling his fingers running up to her hairline where the sweat feel from.

His eyes went from her neck to her eyes. He could see doubt, but there was _something else_.

He didn't want to lose this. Whatever was happening in her head, he didn't want the quickly growing doubt to win. He quickly tightened his hand on her neck and pulled her lips to his.

It was just for a few seconds, but he felt her kiss him back with a desperation he didn't expect. Her hands were suddenly taken from his and were flat on his chest. She didn't push him away, but she pulled her lips from his and looked at him like she was seconds from running.

"You don't know what you're doing" she said scrunching her brow as she shook her head, dropping it into his chest.

The feel of hair brushing his chin and her forehead resting firmly over his heart had his whole-body tense, "wha? Course I do."

"No. you don't." She shook her head again and moved back. His hand slid of her neck as she pushed him back slightly, outing space between them. Honestly, he was still in shock from having her lips on his to think about stopping her.

Even if it was just for a moment. The taste of them were still on his, like sweet wine that had him drunk. And he wanted more.

He could see that the doubt had won, her eyes were suddenly flooded with it and he didn't understand why.

He could feel her hands on his chest still. Her fingers flexing until they were pressed firmly into him, making a low muffled growl erupt from his throat that surprised even him.  
"I want you" the words fell out of his mouth and they seem to have her frozen. Her eyes were fixed on his mouth as he reached out to take a hold of her waist. The want, desire, lust or whatever the fuck it was, was seeping back in.

He leaned down and pulled her back to him again, in a desperate attempt to run his tongue over her lips again. The closeness caused the same dizziness and he felt her grip his shirt like she wanted to rip it off, before they suddenly went flat.

Then they were gone.

"That's what I'm talking about" her voice was firm as she pushed him off, stumbling back away from him. His mouth hung open as she moved out of his grasps.

He watched her as she closed her arms around herself and looked at him like he should know what she was getting at. But he didn't have a clue.

"I have a daughter Daryl, a husband. It's not just me." He went to talk, to interrupt her and tell her he could handle all of it, but she raised her hand in front of herself like she was asking permission to finish. He closed his mouth and lowered his head, slightly nodding.

"I can't ride off into the sunset with you. Were stuck here. With this group, with him." Her voice started to raise and shake.

"That means you would have to deal with that every day. And Sophia." She shook her head and he could see her trying to hold back the tears forming in her eyes.

"It's too much, you need to think about what this means for you. He is not just going to roll over and except me leaving him. Do you see this isn't fair on you Daryl? I can't ask this from you. You can't ask someone to take all of that on. I won't" He shook his head as she spoke, captivated by the occasional tremor in her words. His mouth hanging open again like an idiot as he tried to approach her again, only to be stopped by her open palm again.

"I need to figure out something. On my own Daryl" she spoke so softly he could barely make out the words, his confused gaze fixed on the tears in her eyes, until finally winning, and falling over her cheeks.

He could feel the knots tightened in his stomach as she walked back onto the path and started heading quickly back towards the camp. He watched her walk down the trail swiping the tears of her cheeks harshly as she looked up and noticed Carl, Sophia, Dale and Lori all making their way up the trail towards her. He watched her meet up with them before he slipped back into the woods alone.

* * *

It occurred to him as he crawled into his tent, that she was right in a way.

He hadn't thought it through.

If Carol left Ed, then Carol and the kid would be his responsibility, anything that happened would be on him. That alone freaked him out. He had never looked after anyone before. He hadn't even had a girlfriend since he was a teenager and it was nothing serious, hell, he couldn't even remember her last name. He could only ever look after himself, that was all he seemed to be capable of.

Since he was in high school, it had never been anything more than drunken one night stands and he always made sure he was gone as soon as it was over. Obviously, that wouldn't be an option with Carol, he couldn't panic and fuck off.

And a kid.

He'd never even babysat before. And that kid was obviously a nervous wreck. He noticed her tearing holes into her jeans. The kid didn't seem stupid. She knew we couldn't just run to the shop and get her more, so obviously she couldn't stop herself. What was it gonna do to her when she had a new reason to look over her shoulder.

A lot of the time he had tried not to look at Sophia because she made him so fuckin jumpy.  
Her head would spin and her body would jerk like she saw or heard something coming. He wouldn't think, just grip his gun or crossbow, getting ready. But there was never anything there. The kid was just really fuckin on edge.

Then there was Ed. Fucked if he knew what Ed would do once he figured out what was going on.

The best of men would have trouble keeping their shit together but an asshole like Ed would probably plot a slow death for the pair of them.

Fuck. He'd have to watch her and the kid every second.

And the minute he took his eyes off them…, god he could fuck this up. There were runs, hunting, traps that needed to be set, water that needed to be fetched, how could he keep them both safe from Ed and the walkers.

He could make it worse.

But it didn't matter.

None of it mattered because she wasn't going to give him a chance.

* * *

He laid on his side, in his usual tensed position. His gun and crossbow still spread out across Merles bed, which he had yet to pack away. As if some part of him was still waiting for him to come back, weather he would admit it or not.

It was the first night in a long time that he didn't have to help Carol with dinner. He could hear Andrea and Amy return with the fish they'd caught, closely followed by Ed and the others who were out all day collecting more fuel and water.

There was no way he was going to go out there.

Lately he sat and ate with Dale and T-dog. claiming a spot that left him in the perfect position to look directly across the camp to Carol.

But tonight, he honestly thought it would kill him to have to sit there and watch her trapped with Ed. He couldn't even lay there and dream, all hopes of being able to rescue her were gone now, so seeing her was going to hurt that much more.

He could hear Rick and Dale fussing over where he was, before they decided to leave him to rest. He squeezed his eyes tight, wanting to fall asleep and stop thinking about how good it felt to finally get his hands on her. He tried to forget how it felt, for those few moments she kissed him back. He went to sleep trying not to think about how she tasted, when he was woken up by the moans and the screams. He wondered if it was real or if this was just a part of the nightmare he was in seconds ago.

He felt the earth vibrating beneath him and heard the gun go off. And he knew it was real.

He could hear them all screaming and dying around him. But the first thing he saw was her. She was there by the fire with the kid, screaming in the middle of the camp alone.

He took down one of the walkers that was in his way and darted straight ahead to her as the walkers grew closer around, surrounding her and the kid.

He could see Shane trying to get them, but he was surrounded himself. Rick was shoving Lori and Carl into the RV. That was where he needed to get them he realised. That was where Shane was trying to get them.

Carol had been using herself as a shield, backing the kid up behind her. He knew he was too far away to get there in time and it was so fuckin dark. But no matter how dark it was, he couldn't miss Ed's big form ahead of him, pausing as a walker got even closer to Carol.  
Daryl didn't think he just raised his arm and pulled the trigger.  
The bullet flew into the walker's head and it collapsed dead in front of them both. The kid took one look down and she gone, running of into the darkness before Carol had a second to realise.

There was this horrible ache in his chest, from his breathes moving in and out way to fast, his pulse was throbbing in his ears as he grabbed Carol around the waist. She fought against him as he stopped her from following the kid.

He didn't say anything. He just remembered grabbing her far too tightly and pushing her into Shane arms, who instantly started dragged her back into the RV. He sprinted down the dark trail they used to get in and out of the camp.

He could see her trying to get into the truck, frantically pulling at the locked door as a group of walkers began getting closer and closer. Again, his arm flew up and began shooting down the walkers when suddenly the gun stopped. Clicking in his hand twice before he realised he was out of bullets.

He pulled his knife out just as he realised Sophia was completely frozen by the truck, unable to take her eyes of the walkers that had her stunned.  
He could hear someone coming up behind him but they were too far away.  
He launched himself at the first walker, tackling it into the ground before it could get any closer to the kid. He felt one fall on him as he pulled the knife from the first walker's skull, quickly turning over to take the other one down.  
He was covered in their blood he could feel it running over his face as he watched more approaching. He realized right then that he was going to die, but that he didn't care. He just had to keep them away from the kid until the others caught up.

He ran at one and pushed the knife into its eyes and pushed the body back into one of the others, to give him more time. They were just getting closer and more than anything he didn't want to watch the kid die, he could hear her panting behind him but he couldn't bring himself to turn and look at her.

This was it he thought, he was going to fuck everything up. He took down another walker as another drew closer, more emerging from the woods.

He could feel his throat burning in panic as two came at him. This was it. He couldn't protect her. They were going to past him. He sunk him knife into the walker, then struggled to get it into the other, as another approached.

The bang was deafening. His head spinning to see Jim.

Jim was covered in blood and Daryl was sure it was his own, but he didn't stop to look at him long enough.

Daryl continued to take down as many as he could with the knife as Jim continued to shoot, both were backing up towards Sophia. He heaved in a breath and ran forward to begin taking down the ones that had skulked out from the woods when he heard Jim drop behind him.

He turned for a second to look down at him, seeing that his chest and shoulder was covered in bites, dead at Sophia's feet. But the kid didn't scream or move, she just squeezed her eyes closed and covered her ears with her hands and started mumbling something to herself.

There were at least a dozen bodies surrounding them. He wiped the blood and dirt of his face after he pulled the knife from the last one and finally gave into exhaustion, falling to his knees.

He struggled to get his hands to stop shaking, when the quiet kid behind him finally made a noise.

The scream was worse than anything he had heard before, he turned to see Jim hanging on to her leg as she struggled on the ground, trying to kick him off her.

Daryl pounced from his spot onto him and started stabbing Jim's skull uncontrollably.

He couldn't stop.

He didn't know what had come over him. The knife jammed and he couldn't pull it out, so he grabbed Jim's gun without a second thought and he shot Jim in the head.

His body repelled back, moving him to his feet.

He felt the kid run at him, wrap her arms around him.

He kept the gun firmly in his hand while he yanked her off the ground, as if something else was going to grab at her again.

She clung to him like a monkey. Her arms were around his neck and her legs wrapped around his waist. He could feel her fingernails cutting into the skin on his neck and the heels of her sneakers digging into his back but he didn't think about plying her off him or moving away from the bodies. From Jim's that lay mutilated at his feet.

Jim's face was fucking unrecognisable but he was sure he could hear him moaning still. Like he was going to jump up at any minute and attack again, but he didn't know how many more times he could smash the poor bastards head in.

He couldn't stop the ringing in his ears or focus on anything except Jim.

That second before he turned, Daryl thought he was safe, he thought he had it under control.

But he almost done it all, just to watch the kid die.

The air rushing in and out of his lungs refused to slow and he finally realised the wheezing sound was coming from him. He could still feel Jim's head caving in beneath the blade, as he forced it in, over and over.

It was like he could tell the blood apart. Like the blood from Jim and the blood from the walkers was made from a different substance.

Like the blood that had sprayed up from Jim was burning his skin.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Plans & Demands**

She could feel the terror radiating of Sophia her as she ran her fingers over her daughter's skin checking for bites, when she noticed why Rick and Shane were keeping their distance. Daryl's arm was still extended forward holding a gun at a mangled body that lay at his feet.

"It's ok Daryl, it's over" Shane said keeping his voice calm as he approached him slowly with his hand open in front of him. No matter what Shane or Rick said Daryl and Sophia refused to move, both of them frozen in a moment that had happened before they had arrived.

Carol stood at Daryl's side, he hands lightly running over Sophia's back trying to soothe her as Rick and Shane continued to talk to Daryl,

"You don't have to let it go, just bring your arm down" Rick said softly, placing his hand on Daryl's wrist, slowly pushing it down to his side.

The calm that had finally filled the air around them was suddenly gone. She could hear others arriving but she didn't think about it, she couldn't think about anything but the fact that Sophia was alive and safe. The feet hitting the ground grew louder and louder before they finally came to a halt. "Is that?" Glenn asked looking at the body in front of them but stopping himself as he took in the horrific sight.

"it's Jim" Shane answered unable to take his eyes off the bloody corpse himself.

Carols eyes drifted from Sophia to look over to Glenn as he spoke when she noticed Ed glaring at her, that was when she realised that only one of her hands was placed lightly on Sophia's back, the other was gripping Daryl's arm tightly.

Without delay Ed reached out and grabbed hold of Sophia's arm in attempt to ply them from around Daryl's neck. Without warning Sophia let a terrified scream into the night, making a sound that even Carol had never heard her make before.

Within seconds the calm was gone and buried in amongst the sounds of Sophia's screams and Glenn's, Rick's and Shanes loud voices. Trying to stop Ed.

But it all stopped instantly as Daryl's arm raised back up pointing the gun straight into Ed's face. Ed's hand sprung of Sophia's arm as he stumbled back. Daryl didn't wait for anyone or listen to anything anyone had to say. As soon as Ed moved back Daryl turned and headed back to the camp leaving them all standing around Ed. The others surrounded Ed trying to convince him to calm down as he boiled with anger, wanting to chase down the 'hick' who had stormed off with his kid.

Carol's eyes locked with his just for a second before she turned and followed Daryl back to the light of the fire that glimmered in the distance.

* * *

Shane kept an eye on Ed, sending him of on jobs to keep him busy. Shane insisted that he go and get water for everyone, seeing as it was his job. Eventually Ed budged and drove off with some of the others. Carol took the opportunity to start packing up the rest of Daryl's things as Shane came over and began helping her without asking if she needed it.

"You got a plan?" Shane asked looking over at Daryl who sat in the dirt leaning into the RV, with her daughter, who still refused to unwrap her arms from around his neck. "He's getting more and more angry just looking at him over there." Shae added as he started folding up Daryl tent. "She's scared" Carol answered quietly watching Daryl staring straight ahead, still holding the gun firmly in his hand. "That's understandable but...",

"I'll figure it out" Carol said quickly before Shane could continue asking her questions about things that she herself had not yet figured out.

* * *

Carol walked over to Daryl and Sophia quietly, rubbing her arm looking around to see who was watching her. She couldn't help but feel like she was bringing on more trouble when the group already had enough.

"We will be ready to leave soon" Carol said softly as she knelt down in the dirt next to them. She reached out and rubbed soothing circles on Sophia's back realising she was asleep but her grip had not loosened. He looked so tired and pale and she just wanted to make things easier for him. "We can put her in the car if you want, if we do it before Ed get back then maybe..."

"He hurt her" Daryl said through a dry throat, so quietly she wasn't sure she heard him properly.

His head turned to face her as he glanced down at her arm that was resting on his shoulder.

Carol reached out swiftly and lifted the sleeve to Sophia's shirt and saw the bruise left from where he had grabbed her, trying to pull her away from Daryl. She looked at Daryl in shock and saw the silent rage that was growing behind his eyes.

"What you gonna do Carol?" he whispered coldly as if he could see her mind ticking as she nodded to herself, wiping the tears that had fallen down her cheeks. There was no question, she knew now what she had to do.

There was no time to think or come up with a strategic plan. She had to keep her safe. Sophia had survived the attack because of Daryl, the only injury she sustained from was from her own father and she couldn't have that.

It couldn't be this way.

She wasn't safe with him, neither of them where.

"Will you wait in the RV with her?" Carol asked.

"What about you?" Daryl said looking over as Ed and Rick arrived back to the camp in his Truck.

"Shane and Rick are here. I'll be fine. It's best if you both are out of sight?" Daryl nodded, though she could tell he didn't agree. She stepped back, as he got up began walking into the RV watching Ed watch him. Closing the door behind him as Ed slammed the door to the truck and started making his way over. He was followed closely by Rick and Shane, their eyes wide and alert as if they knew what was happening.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Lines drawn**

Daryl's jaw clenched as Ed repeatedly referred to him as trash, asking Carol if she realised he wanted nothing more than to get laid. He watched them through the window, squeezing the gun in his hand, as he had been since he held it to Ed's head.  
He could see now why she didn't want him out there. His presence would just make it worse. This wasn't about him; it wasn't about him and Carol. This was about her and Ed, letting him think otherwise would be a mistake. Still he was ready to run out and end it all. He was ready to do just that last night, but there was something stopping him and it wasn't the way carol had looked at him. It was the kid.  
He could feel her shifting in his arms, as the yelling started to disturb her sleep. But not enough to wake her. His mind considered the reasons why she seemed to have no problem sleeping through Ed's loud voice, when a deafening silence took over the whole camp.  
He watched Ed lean in close to Carol and say something with a low voice he couldn't hear. That's when Shane suddenly yelled out.  
"Enough. Get in the car Ed. Now". Shane's hand flattened out over Ed's chest and shoved him back as Carol stood still, her face pale and shocked by whatever Ed had just said to her.

Lori came over and took Carol's arms, softly shifting her from Ed's direction and began walking her back to the RV.  
He stood back as they walked in. He stayed still and silent as Lori sat her down and began consoling her. Telling her that we would all keep her safe. He could see in her eyes that she was distant. Lost in her thoughts as Lori spoke.  
He still didn't feel like he had the right to just walk up to her in front of people. Even though the whole camp heard Ed and were probably figuring out that something was going on.

He wanted to wrap his arms around her and tell her everything would be ok, even if he wasn't sure it was true.  
Rick came in and walked past him to kneel in front of Carol. "This is the right thing to do. It might be hard but we will get through this. all of us. together". Daryl had never heard Rick sound more like a police officer than he did right then.  
It sounded like a line he had told a hundred other women in her position, and the way Carol seemed uncomforted by his words made Daryl think she had probably heard the words and tone before. But the good intentions had never done her any good.

"We need to get on the road" Rick said as he stood up and stepped back. Lori nodded pulling carol close to her side once more before standing to follow Rick.  
He looked at sitting there alone on the seat and ignored his instincts to stay back. There was something he knew would make her feel better.  
He put the gun down on the table and sat down beside her and slowly started to ply the kid's arm's from around his neck as Lori and Rick left.  
Carol still hadn't looked at him until he picked the kid up and put her tiny form into Carols lap. There was a hint of a smile on her lips that didn't match the tears drying on her cheeks but it was a start.  
She didn't look at him, instead she kept her eyes down. There were a million things he wanted to say to her but he didn't voice one of them. Instead he just moved a bit closer to her. Close enough that her thigh was touching his. Enough to make her know that he was there & he was with her. He figured it was enough as she moved a tiny bit close to him. watched them both as Dale drove the RV away from the camp. Focusing on Carols hands, how she held the kid gently with one and ran her fingers through Sophia's knotted blonde hair with the other, slowly untangling the strands.

* * *

It got dark and Carol and Sophia were both fast asleep. Dale and the others had stopped for a few hours to rest before they started driving again but it didn't disturb Carol and Sophia. He was tired, hell, he was fucking exhausted but he couldn't manage to close his eyes for more than a few minutes. His eyes always flying open as soon as he started to fall into a deep sleep. His whole body seemed to be aware that they were there and they needed him. That he could fail and would have to live with it if he did. The fact that if he did mess this up, that the feeling would return to his stomach once again and he would be left there forced to live with it.

* * *

He stood with Rick, Shane and Andrea looking around the new camp site. Rick and Shane had decided they would stay here but they would keep looking for something better when they were on runs for supplies.  
It was better than the quarry. They were surrounded by open space so they couldn't be snuck up on again. There was a stream nearby and there weren't so many blind spots, it wasn't much but it was better.  
Rick discussed taking shifts through the night, so they didn't end up getting overrun again. Daryl nodded, trying to listen while he watched Carol and Sophia out of the corner of his eye.

They had been there less than an hour, he watched Carol grab her bags out of Ed's car when he had wondered off for a smoke somewhere out of sight.  
She took her belongings back over and stood outside the RV, unpacking with Lori. Carl and Sophia sat on the grass looking through a book, flicking the pages quickly and tracing their tiny fingers over the pictures while they talked.  
"Well let's settle in, then we can get everyone together and come up with a game plan" Rick said finally with a confident smile. The small group separated as T-dog walked over to him. "Your bags are in your Truck" He said walking in its direction. Daryl thanked T-dog for driving his truck as they walked over to it.  
He had taken his eyes of the girls for no more than a minute to answer a few random questions about the old Ford when he heard Ed's voice raise up followed closely by Glenn and Lori's.  
His head spun to see Sophia shuffling backwards in the dirt on her hands and feet, trying to position herself behind Carol as quickly as she could. He didn't yell out or get a weapon ready. Once he saw the look on Ed's face it was more than enough to have him running at him as fast as he could.

* * *

Ed barley had a second to notice that Daryl was approaching, deafened by his own voice that got louder and deeper before it was too late.  
His hands latched around Ed's throat as he tackled him to the ground. In the few second's he had a hold of him and he realised just how long he had been waiting for this.  
Ed and Carol were just arguing; it didn't look violent or threatening. He knew it was less than a day since Carol told him to stay out of it. But he couldn't take it. Ed looked at Carol like he owned her, like she was a disobedient dog that had gotten off its leash.  
He wanted to hurt him and scare him. He wanted Ed to see just how easy it would be for him to squeeze the life out of him.  
Carol had told Ed it was over, but obviously hadn't listened to her. He couldn't get it through his thick head that she wasn't putting up with his shit anymore. It was only a few seconds before Rick, Shane and T-dog pulled them apart and he could feel everyone's eyes on him.  
He knew he had just confirmed the rumours and it was obvious that they were putting the pieces together. They all knew now that the small amount of time he had spent with Carol each day preparing dinner was enough time to form a friendship. Even if they hadn't noticed it happening around them.  
"What's going on" Rick demanded standing between them and using his hands to keep them at a safe distance from each other. Rick looked at Daryl for answers but he remained silent huffing and puffing, while keeping his eyes fixed on Ed.  
"We told you to stay away from her Ed, we haven't even unpacked yet and your starting trouble" Shane said glaring at Ed as he held him in place.  
"She took my tent. I'm not going to have some red neck trash sleeping with my wife in my.."  
"Fine" Daryl spat out before Ed could finish.  
Daryl quickly shook himself free from T-dogs grip a kneel'd down grabbing the tent bag. He walked passed Rick and shoved the it into Ed's chest firmly. "Take the god dam tent. But this ends here. You don't look at her and you don't talk to her". For a second, Daryl could see the flash of fear in Ed's eyes and he couldn't help but enjoy it. Shane started to explain to Ed again that he needed to keep his distance from Carol but Ed's eyes were still caught on Daryl as he stepped back.  
"You think she's yours now. Just like that" Ed growled through his teeth.  
"All I know is she isn't yours Ed"

 _ **A/N: Please review and let me know what you think and if your interested in reading more**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Sweet Dreams**

Carol and Lori stood by the RV while the kids went back to their book, though Sophia's interest had obviously changed. He noticed her fingers picking away at the thread on her pants and watched as her eyes cautiously wondered around the camp every time Carl turned the page.

Carol didn't watch him put his tent up with shaky hands, but he caught her attention when he walked over to her side.  
He gave her a nod as he leaned down and took all of her and Sophia's bags that had been sitting in the dirt. She had stopped talking to watch him take them over to his tent and put them inside. Unable to stop himself from smirking at Ed as he did.

* * *

He unrolled his sleeping bag by the tent's door and sat himself down on it, then begin the process of shuffling through his bag, pulling out each item, one by one.

"What are you doing?" she asked standing over him, holding herself together, like she was going to fall into a million pieces if she let go.  
He consciously refused to look up, deciding only to focus on his hands pulling out his clothes and weapons.  
"Lookin for my smokes"  
"That's not what I'm talking about" he nodded and continued looking through his crap.

"Yeah, I know" he answered quietly, as he began searching the pockets of the pants he had just pulled out.  
"Daryl...", he stopped himself and forced his eyes up to see her frustrated expression hanging over him.

"Are you just gonna sleep out here on the ground?" she asked, almost making him laugh.  
"No, I'm not planning on sleeping out here" he watched her brow crease in confusion to his answer. He shook his head lightly, "I'm gonna stay awake, keep watch" Her face softened at his answer and her body seemed to relax, even if it was only slightly.  
He looked back down and pulled out another pair of pants to check. He heard her let out a sigh, making him uncomfortable.  
"Front pocket" She said breaking the silence.  
"What?",  
"The cigarettes. I put them in your front pocket" was all she said as she turned and started making her way back to Lori.

He opened the front pocket on his bag to see the crinkled pack sitting there. A small grin passed over his lips as he looked up to watch her leave, his eyes needlessly lingering on her ass as she walked back to the RV. Even though though the voice in the back of his head was screaming at him to stop.  
Daryl knew the discussion wasn't over, just by the tone of Carol's voice. She just didn't want to be standing there with everyone looking at her. As he pulled his eyes from her, he looked over to see that they were watching,  
even if they were pretending not to.  
He ducked his head back down and quickly shoved his things back into his bag.

* * *

Carol was tired and Sophia had already begun drifting off, leaning into her side while she starred into the fire. She had overheard Daryl talking to Rick about taking watch at night and that Shane would relieve him early in the morning.  
She knew she had to make a move, she could feel Ed's eyes on her every time she made the slightest movement, waiting to see what she was going to do. As if her getting into Daryl's tent was making some statement, rather than just admitting she was tired.

She had spent the afternoon avoiding Daryl, but he didn't seem to question it. He had kept himself busy walking around the camp with Shane and Rick most of the day and making a fire close to the tent where he had sat himself down once it got darker.

Carol had eaten dinner with the rest of the group unable to stop thinking about being with Daryl in the woods with her lips were pressed to his, even if it was only for a moment. A part of her wishing she had been braver that day, that she had of allowed her lips to linger on his for a few seconds more before she pulled away. In amongst the others chatting, she finally heard Sophia's faint voice beside her asking if they could go to sleep.

She snapped back into reality at the sound. She smiled and nodded as she took her hand, knowing she should have gone a while ago. But she was dragging it out, mostly hoping that Ed would go to sleep and she wouldn't have to do this in front of him and anger him more than necessary.

She said goodnight to the group and took Sophia's hand leading her over to their tent, knowing that Ed was watching them every step of the way.  
Daryl didn't move, he continued to fidget with his crossbow even though she was sure he knew they were approaching.  
Sophia let go of Carol's hand and walked ahead to yank down the zipper making Daryl's head turn slightly in her direction. From the light of the fire Carol could see the two beds already made and their bags carefully placed in the corner of the tent.

Sophia paused and met Daryl's eyes. "wont ya get cold?" she asked Daryl carefully, still gauging the man's reaction, as if she was half expecting a mean response to her question. Daryl shook his head and gave her a small confident smile. "I got the fire, I'll be fine" he responded softly. Sophia excepted the answer and returned the smile before making her way into the tent.  
Carol knew everyone, including Ed was still watching but she decided to be brave, instead of falling asleep wishing she had of been.  
Daryl's eyes had dropped back down to his crossbow, giving Carol a chance to get by him without any interaction, but she stopped at his side. She let her hand fall onto his shoulder and rest there as she stood at the entrance to the tent. "Goodnight" she whispered as she watched him freeze. She was a second away from taking the final step into the tent when she felt his warm hand cover hers, "Night" was all he said as he gave her hand a light squeeze, before slowly letting it go.

She lay in bed watching the silhouette created by the fire. Watching him look around the camp protecting them, alert and aware of everything happening.  
As she drifted off she couldn't help but wonder if this is what it was like to feel safe, wondering if Sophia could feel it to.

* * *

In the early hours of the morning Glenn and Shane took over, meaning he could get a few hours' sleep before the sun rose.  
Shane had offered his tent to him for a few hours, and a week ago, Daryl would have jumped at the offer, but now he knew how quickly everything could go wrong.

He laid in front of his tent listening to the sounds of the girls sleeping soundly. Listening to their murmurs and their sleeping bags shuffle when they moved, it was enough to make him drift off in front of the warm fire without a second thought.

It felt like he had only closed his eyes for a second when the high-pitched sound woke him. His body jerked up before he had a chance to open his eyes. He looked around realising the sun was out.  
He looked around realising everyone was awake and moving around the camp site. His eye caught Sophia as she repeated squealing sound he had never heard her make before, as Carl held out the stick insect in his hand for her to look at. Her finger reached out to touch its leg before pulling back as the sound erupted from her throat again, making him smile.  
He reached down to his feet and began putting his shoes back on again as he noticed Carol walking over. Again, he found himself unsure about meeting her gaze, so he kept his eyes on his shoes as he laced them up.  
She sat down beside him, her whole body tensing as she did and he didn't have to wonder why. He hadn't looked around for Ed but he could still feel his eyes on them, as usual. But for some reason, it didn't seem to stop Carol from sitting so close he could feel her arm brushing against his.  
"Got you some coffee" she said holding the mug out for him to take. He took it from her and looked up to see her watching Sophia,  
"She's never seen one before" she explained with a grin, as the sound of Sophia and Carl's giggles filled the camp again.  
"Ya don't say" he added, with just a hint of sarcasm, making a small laugh escape carol's mouth as she turned to look at him.  
"How'd you sleep?" she asked, with traces of a smile still left on her lips, something that he had trouble taking his eyes off.  
"Just fine" he said quickly, wanting to assure her that he still thought this was the safest idea he had. "How about you?" he added before she had chance to say anything else. She didn't answer, just smiled and dropped her gaze down to her hands. It looked like she was remembering something sweet. He desperately wanted to ask her about it and find what brought it on, so he could make it appear more often, but didn't feel like he had the right to ask.  
"We need to talk" she said as the adorable expression disappeared from her face and she lifted her head to meet his gaze.  
"About what?" he asked curiously, taking another sip of the hot black coffee. He watched as she suddenly looked around them and he followed her, to see everyone, including Ed looking at them out of the corner of their eyes. "Later" was all she said as she lifted herself up to walk away, making her way back over to Lori, to continue washing the pile of dirty laundry.

* * *

He walked around the outskirts of the camp picking up sticks when he saw Sophia wonder over to him. She didn't talk to him, or question him when he froze to look at Carol to see if she realised the kid had left her side. Carol smiled lightly and went back to what she was doing and so did he.

The kid was quietly following him like a shadow, collecting a small bundle of branches in her arms, only stopping when he did.  
When he thought, he had enough he turned to see her staring up at him, "You need help carrying those?" he offered, but she just shook her head and stayed unmoving until he started to walk back to their tent. He could hear her walking behind him, watching to see what he was going to do next but he still couldn't figure out why she was following him around to begin with.

He kneeled and dropped the sticks on the ground next to the burnt-out fire, slightly turning his body to take Sophia's pile from her. He started to lift the sticks from her tiny arms when Ed suddenly yelled out Sophia's name across the campsite.  
Ed was looking straight past Daryl to the kid, making them both freeze in place. He looked up to see Sophia looking at him, like he was somehow in charge, like he was the one who could stop whatever was about to happen.  
His eyes darted from Sophia over to see Carol, watching her move quickly in their direction with her hand out calling to daughter.  
He took the sticks from Sophia's and lightly pressed Sophia's arm into the direction of her mother as he stood up and walked closely behind her. She followed the silent instruction and started walking cautiously over to her mother, but she couldn't bring herself to take her eyes of Ed as he made his way across the camp to them in a hurry.

There was something Daryl hadn't considered and that was the kid.  
He could keep Ed away from Carol, he was in his right to do that, she broke it off with him and Ed had to deal with that. But he was Sophia's father and he didn't know what he was supposed to do with that.  
He knew Carol wanted him to stay out of it judging by the way she was looking at him. So, he decided that he would stay calm, but he wouldn't stay out of it. He couldn't bring himself to move from their sides.

* * *

A/N: Sorry this chapter isn't longer, I have just been so busy lately. Leave me a review and let me know what you guys think.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Stay calm**

A surge of adrenalin suddenly rushed through him. Making him breathe so heavily that each gulp of air harshly hit the pit of his stomach, his body preparing itself for a fight. Even though he promised himself it would not take place. But his mind refused to believe him.

It only got worse when he felt a tug at the fabric of his shirt. He glanced down as he took the last few steps to Carol side and seen Sophia's hand gripping a handful of fabric. She used it to drag him in front of her. He followed the direction she moved him in, placing himself in front of her. He knew Ed wouldn't like it, but he couldn't ignore the gesture or the panic radiating from the kid.  
As Ed approached, a wave of nostalgia swept over him, but he couldn't figure out why. The image of her tiny fingers twisted into his plaid shirt was running on repeat in his mind, as though he had seen the sight a thousand times before.

"What? I can't talk to my own kid?" Ed's loud and enraged voice echoed through the campsite.  
Daryl watched as Shane and Rick began making their way over, as they always did when it looked like Ed was about to lose it.  
He had to trust them to handle it, he repeated just that to himself, over and over, hoping it would stop his fists from clenching and his heart from pounding.  
"What for?" was all Carol said with a shrug of uncertainty.  
Daryl watched as Ed's eyes fixed in on Carols. He pushed himself to stay still as Ed's hand raised to point his finger in her face, making it unbearable. Every instinct he had was telling him knock Ed into the ground, but he ignored them, waiting for some sign that she wanted him to put a stop to this bullshit.  
"You wanna run around like some whore with this Hick, you ain't taking my daughter with ya" Daryl didn't have a chance to react to him calling Carol a whore, he didn't have time to consider anything, except the fact that Ed was now lunging between them both to grab Sophia.  
Within moments Rick and Shane arrived to pull Ed back, but it was too late.  
In amongst the brief squabble Daryl had reached down and yanked Sophia's tiny body of the ground, just as he had done before.  
"Ed calm down" Rick repeated, again and again. He yelled at Rick and Shane for sticking their noses in where they didn't belong, while Daryl was still trying to figure out what it was he was meant to do.  
He couldn't bring himself to put the kid down. But holding her like this wasn't safe if Ed completely lost it. They had to leave.  
He reached out to Carol with his free hand and curled his fingers into hers.  
She watched as his rough skin merged into hers, softly and calmly.  
In amongst the chaos it was enough to make her freeze.  
"C'mon" was all he said, taking a small step back, hoping she would follow.  
Carol looked at Ed once more as she stepped away, following Daryl's lead.  
"That is my family, not his" Daryl paused looking at Shane, who was still holding Ed in place.

Daryl knew how this looked, his hand holding someone else's wife's hand, someone else's kid wrapped around his hip. But even with all of that, Shane just nodded at him, assuring Daryl he was doing the right thing,  
"Go" Shane said, ignoring everything Ed arguments.  
"We are going to talk about this," Daryl heard Ed yell out to him as he walked off, but he refused to turn around again. Shane suddenly cut in, "Yeah, we will, but not like this Ed." Assuring Daryl's concerns, that this was far from over. This was only going to get worse.

He approached his truck, letting go of Carol's hand to open the passenger door for her. She didn't ask where they were going, she just got in. He slowly pulled Sophia from his hip and put the kid on her lap before closing the door, wondering just how mad she was at him for butting in when he shouldn't have been there to begin with.

He didn't know what to say, he just started the truck and drove off.  
He wondered if she had seen the empty jugs in the tray, maybe she overheard him tell rick he would get some more water later on. Either way she didn't say anything, even Sophia kept her focus to window, watching the trees and bushes go by as he made his way down the trail to the nearby stream. He was happy they were so quiet, his mind fixated on the same thing, still wondering why the kids hand yanking on his shirt had him so confused.

* * *

Within seconds of stopping the truck he jumped out without looking at either of them, even when he heard them both follow closely behind.  
A mixture of self-loathing and self-doubt began to rise. He found himself replaying what had just happened in his head, wondering if he was messing everything up, wondering if he even had what it took to do anything but mess this up. But most of all he was wondering if she was thinking the same thing.

He began grabbing the empty water bottles from the tray of his truck when he realised she was standing next to him.  
"Not too far" was all Carol said, making him look over to see Sophia nodding as sat on the ground by the stream.  
He watched Carol's hands reach out in front of him, helping him collect the empty bottles but even as they made their way over to the water he still couldn't look at her, worried that if he did he would see doubt in her eyes. The same doubt he had about himself.

He held the empty bottle in the stream thinking over the hundred other options he had today, rather than the ones he chose.  
"Sorry for making you do that." She said quietly, making him freeze in place as the sound of her voice broke the silence.  
"You move faster than me" she added as his head rose to look at her.  
His mouth fell open, releasing a few stammered sounds that he couldn't quite form into words.  
"I need to be smarter, I know that" she admitted.  
Daryl examined her face, while he processed the confession. He could see the doubt he feared so much, but it wasn't directed towards him.  
"I wasn't thinking that" he said softly shaking his head, hoping his tone would assure her he as telling the truth.  
The whole time he had been avoiding looking at her, he never thought for a second she was doing the same thing. That she was mad at herself and not at him.  
"Your better at this than I am" she said ignoring what he had just said.  
"at what?" he questioned her, feeling his brow scrunch, trying to understand what she was referring to.  
"Protecting her" she said, meeting his gaze for a moment. Her mouth was curved into a soft smile that she was using to cover the torment she was feeling, but it wasn't working. He shook his head, rolling his shoulders in discomfort.  
"You're a good mother Carol, ya are" he said quickly, knowing it to be true. But again, she seemed to be ignoring him, as if anything he said was just an attempt to make her feel better.  
He was stunned, the expression on her face and the things she was saying, left him wondering what he was meant to do. And honestly, he wanted to stop this conversation, because it was too hard and he could feel it dragging him from his comfort zone. But with that thought, came the realization that he was the one who needed to be smarter, not her. He needed to do better, even if it was hard for him.

He reached out and lightly wrapped his hand around her arm, making her stop and look at him.  
"You could have stayed with him, but ya didn't,… you are protecting her" he said firmly, letting his thumb graze gently over her arm as he spoke.  
"I just wanna help ya, both of ya. Just tell me how", the words spilled out of his mouth without a second thought and even he was surprised by them.  
She looked from his eyes to Sophia, watching her pick up small stones from the dirt and toss them into the water. He couldn't decipher what she was thinking as she starred at her daughter, but he knew something was wrong.  
She let out a hard breath and nodded to herself, before finally meeting his gaze again.  
"I need to tell you something".

* * *

 _A/N: I know it has taken me a really long time to update this story, everything has been a bit crazy...and I have had trouble getting into the right mood (if you know what I mean). No matter how long it takes me, I will get this finished eventually (it is planned out, it's just a matter of me writing it). I have started the next chapter and hopefully will have it up soon._  
 _Sorry this chapter is so short, but I wanted to put something up since it has been so long between updates. Be sure to drop a comment, it's always nice to hear back about fics..._


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Nobody's bitch**

Daryl spent more time that he liked to admit, comparing people. He compared himself to Carol, compared himself to Ed, compared Ed to his father and his father to himself. The idea of the internal task was to look for similarities. To see if they reacted the same to similar situations, to recognise weaknesses, strengths and the evil traits that had plagued his life. But as he sat in front of the girl's tent getting the fire ready, he realised now that he had no one to compare Ed to. Not after what Carol had told him.  
He had always wondered about the way Ed looked at Sophia, but never enough to over think it and he never once considered this.  
But now that he had been told, it was all he could think about.

* * *

Carol was leaning down in front of Sophia, enough so that their eyes were lined up. He watched as her fingers ran through the kid's hair, gently untangling the knots while she spoke to her.  
He didn't wonder what they were talking about, he had a rough idea.  
What he wondered about now, is what Ed was thinking as he watched them.

He had to convince himself how crazy he would look if he just walked over and tackled Ed to the ground, with seemingly no reason or warning. But damn he wanted to, he wanted him gone, not just away from the girls, he wanted him away from all of them, every single person in the camp. But it would go against everything Carol had asked him to do.

He stood to his feet as the girls approached, taking his plate from Carol with a quiet thank you.  
The three of them sat in silence, knowing very well that everyone was watching them.

Carol and Sophia had been eating with Ricks family sine they got here, then they stayed with them until it was time to go to bed. Except to say goodnight, he had barely even spoken to them.

He finished eating first, watching Ed out the corner of his eyes, knowing he was watching them. He was grateful the girls had their backs to him and the way he was staring at them both.  
Ed noticed them empty their plates and it made him stand to his feet. Making his way slowly over to the area that had been reserved for cleaning up the dishes.  
Carol stood up and put her hand out, waiting on him to pass his empty plate. He shook his head and rose next to her, "I got it", Carol seemed confused as he tried to ply the empty plate from her hand,  
"I don't mind" she argued.  
Daryl smiled at her "neither do I" he said with a shrug as he reached down to take Sophia's plate to.

* * *

He didn't look up to see Ed's reaction. But Daryl knew he had just screwed up whatever intimidation tactic he had planned for Carol.  
He walked over to the bucket of water and dumped the three plates in, keeping his eyes fixed on the task, even when he felt Ed standing next to him.  
He forced himself to ignore his presence, forced himself not to look up, instead he grabbed the dish rag and started wiping the plates off.  
"You her bitch now?", Ed asked low enough, making sure no one else could hear. Daryl stopped wiping the plate, starring at his hands in the soapy water before he forced himself to finish. Internally, he shook the words off, he wasn't going to give the prick the satisfaction of losing it, when it was obviously the aim of the game he was playing.  
"You know she won't hang around long, she always comes back to me" Ed added, his voice low and rough, with far too much certainty. Daryl's couldn't help but let eyes drifted to his side as Ed spoke.  
"and when she does" Ed added with a darker edge to his words.  
Daryl's body straightened as he turned instantly to look at Ed, making him stop mid-sentence. He looked Ed up and down, not allowing any expression to break through. A part of him wanted Ed to finish what he was going to say, because if he was going to stand around threatening her, then fuck it, he was going to punch his head in.  
But nothing.  
Ed just glared at him, waiting for Daryl's reaction, but as Daryl considered what was about to happen, he stopped. He dropped his gaze from Ed's eyes, smiling to himself and shaking his head, placing the last plate onto the pile as he stepped back. Remembering, he had to be smarter, he had to be better than this. He had to be someone that no one could ever compare to Ed.

As he walked off he wondered how Ed could be so sure that Carol was just going to go back to him, he couldn't imagine her doing that. Not after everything that happened, not after everything she told him. But still he wondered why Ed seemed so damn sure of himself.

It was late when Ed finally wondered off to his tent, with Daryl watching every move he made, until he was out of sight.  
The three of them had barely spoken all night. Sophia was flipping through a book while he and Carol had just stared into the flames.  
It wasn't until she was getting Sophia ready for bed that Shane and Rick started to make their way over.

He was on his feet passing Carol her jacket that she had left on the ground, saying goodnight to them both when he noticed the former officers approaching.  
He and Carol knew what this about, both looking at Sophia momentarily before their eyes locked again.  
Daryl's brow narrowed when he saw the nervous expression covering her face, he reached out giving her arm a light rub, drawing her attention back to him.  
"it's alright" he said quietly, before letting his hand drop back to his side. She didn't seem convinced but she nodded and continued into the tent anyway.

He had told her he could help, that he wanted to, this was her plan and he understood why she was reluctant to let him handle this.  
It had nothing to do with him and everything to do with her. He knew Carol was still thinking that she and Sophia were not his problem to deal with, even though he had signed up for it. She was so sure the blame would be placed on her, no matter how much he told her it wouldn't be. So sure people would see her as the bad mother that she already thought she was. Mixed in with all of that, was the chance that no one would listen to her. That's when he assured her he would make them listen.

* * *

Shane and Rick assured him that they wouldn't let anything happen to the kid. They were going to deal with Ed themselves, tell him how it had to be.  
He wasn't going to be alone with her, he could accept that or leave. Daryl never asked what they were going to say to Ed, he never asked if they were going to bring up Carol's concerns about him. Shane had said, the basic fact was that they had been here for days and she had never thought twice about going to see her father, and that was enough. No one was going to drag Sophia to him and make her talk to him. So, he assumed that's what they were going to lead with. He didn't care what they said, he just wanted it taken care of.

* * *

He leaned into the side of his truck having a smoke when he heard something coming up behind him, he almost reached for his crossbow when he realised who the light footsteps belonged to.

She made her way to his side, rolling on her heels and letting her body fall into the truck next to him. She was closer to him than she'd been in days and he watched as her hand reached out to his. She glided her fingers over his, slowly taking the cigarette from him. He didn't say anything, half wondering if she was going to chuck it, but instead she drew back on it a few times before offering it back in him. He didn't ask but she could tell what he was thinking.  
"I quit when I got pregnant" was all she said as he took back the smoke with a nod. He sucked back on the cigarette once more as she shifted a bit closer. He looked over his shoulder in the direction of their tent. Mostly seeing if anyone was around watching them, he knew he didn't have to worry about being caught with her, but the old habit forced him to check.  
"she passed out?"  
"Glenn's watching the tent, keeping an ear out for her", He watched her as she answered, wondering why she wouldn't look at him.  
"Well?" she asked keeping her eyes fixed ahead, expecting bad news.  
"It's taken care of, they said they would talk to him" he noticed her nod in response, but that was it. He could tell she didn't want to talk about it anymore. There was still Ed's reaction to worry about, even if Rick and Shane said they would handle it, the guy was unpredictable and all they could really do is wait and see.  
There was so much to worry about and he found himself feeling like an asshole. Even with all the crap going on, all he could think about was the bare skin on her arm touching his. Wondering how she manage to still smell so damn good, wondering if the smell would only intensify if he could find a reason to get closer to her. With that thought he shook his head and took another draw of the cigarette, trying to make the thought pass.  
"What did he say to you?" she asked, his head turning at the sound of her voice, only to find she still wasn't looking at him.  
"Rick?" he questioned, unsure what she was referring to.  
He watched her head shake and arms fold around her,  
"No. Ed" She asked cautiously, as if she was expecting him to be angry.  
"I saw you talking to him after dinner" she added when he didn't answer, with concern filling her voice.  
"It doesn't matter" he said cutting her off before she could finish. Deciding right there and then, that it didn't. Whatever did, or didn't happen when she was with Ed was her business. If she wanted him to know something she could tell him herself.  
Slowly she turned her whole body to face him, a shiver running over him as her warm skin left his. Something changed the mood in the air, but he wasn't sure what.  
He watched as she silently moved herself in front of him, making him freeze in place.  
Her eyes were locked with his as she pressed her body to his and took his face in her hands. He couldn't help but shutter at the feel of it, dropping the lit cigarette to the ground.  
He responded by slowly sliding his hands onto her hips and leaned forward slightly to graze his lips over hers, before pulling back to gauge her reaction.  
Without a second passing she pressed her lips firmly to his, feeling them part and her tongue meet his.  
He could feel her hands sliding from his face into his hair, moving him closer than he had ever been to her. Loving the feeling of it, he responded by gently pulling her hips closer to his and moving his hands up under her shirt, until her could feel the skin on her waist under his fingers, encouraging her to keep going.  
There was no urgency in the kiss, it was nothing like the last time.  
It was deeper than some stolen moment in the woods. It felt like they had all the time in the world. Like she could stand there kissing forever, but she still she wanted to savour every moment of it and he lost himself in that thought.

He wasn't sure how long they had been standing there when she slowly started to pull her lips from his, releasing a deep breath as she did. He loosened his grip on her hips and opened his eyes to see her face inches from his, smiling at him with her bottom lip caught between her teeth. He stood stunned as her hands slid down his neck onto his chest.  
"Try and get some sleep tonight" she said as she stepped back and his hands fell from her hips. He nodded in response, not capable of much more.  
He watched her walk away, wondering what he had said that made her want to do that. Mainly so he could figure out a way to replicate the situation.

* * *

He woke the next morning, sure that he could still taste her on his lips, nothing on his mind except the thought of seeing her again. The thought making him put on his boots and grab his crossbow far too quickly, almost tripping him over as he got up.

He could see her at the far side of the camp doing the laundry, alone, but doing the job of three people with ease. The sight of the clean clothes made him realise he needed to take a bath or do something about the smell of dried blood and sweat coming off him in waves. Th thought quickly passing as He noticed Ed, sitting outside of his tend shuffling through his bag.  
Ed stopped and looked at him, making him shift his gaze back to Carol, not wanting to be the reason Ed lost it, especially when he was quite obviously pissed off.  
As he made his way through the camp Rick caught his eye. He was sitting in the RV with both Carl and Sophia.  
Daryl made his way up the steps, stopping in the doorway and leaning into the frame.  
"Good morning" Rick said a little too cheery for his liking.  
Sophia looked up with an almost blank expression on her face, but he had grown used to that. He could never quite tell if the kid liked him at all, knowing only that she would follow him around like his shadow if she felt uncomfortable. But he wasn't stupid enough to think that meant she liked him, hell, basic fact was he and the kid had never spoken more than a few words to each other.

"Everything alright?" Daryl asked, watching as Sophia's sights dropped back down to the picture she was drawing. Rick nodded standing to his feet, taking a few steps to get closer.  
"Seems to be" he added quietly, as if the kids couldn't hear everything.  
"what happened?" Daryl asked, watching as Rick looked over his shoulder in the direction of Ed's tent.  
"Maybe, just stay out of his way for a while" he said with a shrug, his voice dropping lower than before.  
Daryl nodded, "Wasn't planning on anything else" he said quickly as he stepped back out of the RV to head over to Carol.

As he got closer her could see her examining a shirt closely, rubbing her finger over a spot on the fabric, so frustrated her eyes rolled back.  
He was so busy looking at her that it took him a second to realise it was his shirt she was holding, no doubt trying to remove a mixture of blood and dirt that had now fused with the fabric.  
Instantly he felt annoyed, all the thoughts of the night before disappearing as he got close enough so he could reach out and snatch the it from her hands.  
"Don't" was all that came out when pulled the shirt from her grips.  
She jumped at the sudden movement and he felt like an ass for scaring her, but at the same time he couldn't bare the sight.  
"What's wrong?" she asked with a hint of amusement in her voice.  
"you got better things to do then worry about stains on my shirts" he said as he stormed off into the woods. He heard her call him name but he didn't stop.  
He didn't want to explain to her, how much it pissed him off when he used to see her running around with Ed's clothes, like she was his servant.  
He walked out far enough so that he couldn't see the camp, dropping his crossbow onto the ground before he started pulling his shirt over his head, he was out here, he might as well get changed. In in the same moment he realised the shirt was still filthy he heard steps coming from behind him. He spun around to see Carol cautiously looking him.  
Sooner or later she was going to see them, he just would have preferred later. He folded his arms around his stomach and found himself stepping back as she stepped forward. His gut flooding with embarrassment and shame while he wondered what she was thinking.  
"That shirts dirty" was all she said, extending her arm out with a clean folded shirt in her hand.  
He stepped forward and gently took the shirt from her with nothing more than a nod.  
"You should change in the tent from now on, it's not safe out here" she said casually, as she turned to leave.  
He watched as she walked away. Thankful she didn't want to talk about it, hoping she didn't think it had anything to do with him and her, like it was somehow a reason for him wanting her.  
He put the clean shirt on and picked up his crossbow, thinking how he had only been awake for 20 minutes and managed to fuck the entire day up.

He planned to walk right passed her, looking in the other direction as he did. But when he got to the edge of tree line he saw her standing alone. He still wanted to touch her and be near her. That hadn't changed. He thought about the look in her eyes when he spun around to see her in the woods, there was no pity in her eyes, no disgust or even confusion.  
He remembered that day he saw her wondering up the trail alone, marks on her arms and tears in her eyes. He didn't need to know what happened in detail, he just knew. Maybe it was the same for her when she had seen the marks covering his body. She knew him, maybe she could see that part of him way before he revealed it.  
He didn't want to be compared to Ed, not in any way shape or form, so he decided to do the one thing Ed wouldn't.

He walked over to her side, taking a pile of the dirty laundry in front of her and started folding. He could feel her eyes on him and he took a deep breath as he forced himself to look back.  
"Sorry" was all he said, seeing nothing but the sweet smile he had been thinking about when he woke up. She pressed her side into his, making him sway and smile back at her.

He found countless reasons to touch her and brush his body against hers, even a few ways to make her laugh, it was more than enough to make him decide to help her with the laundry more often. He was having thoughts of tossing the clothes on to the ground so he could make out with her, right then and there. He looked up to see who would be in the audience of the display when he noticed Ed smugly smiling at him.  
He knew what Ed was thinking, he had already called him her bitch when he was washing a few plates, so it didn't take a genius to figure out what was going through his mind now. But fuck it, he didn't care. He found he couldn't think about anything but her and the things he wanted to do to her.

* * *

Doing the laundry seemed to have worked as some messed up fourplay, because as soon as he saw her coming he chucked the cigarette to the ground and headed at her. There were no pleasantries, no conversation, no confusion about why she was there and what she wanted to talk about.  
There was only a harsh collision of their bodies, mouths, and hands. He didn't know what came over him, he just knew he had wanted her all day and now he finally had his hands on her.  
A moan erupted in his chest and he pulled away for a second to grab hold of her thighs a lift her up, moving her back until she was wedged between him and the truck. Her legs were wrapped tightly around his waist, her fingers twisted tightly in his hair as her tongue ran over his. He was sure they looked like a pair of horny teenagers going at it, but he also knew she only had a few minutes before she would have to get back to the camp. He wanted to make the most of it, by getting as much of her as he could before she pulled away.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Like a weapon**

Sometimes when his lips were trailing down her neck, he found himself wondering how he turned into to this person. All day he wished he could reach up and drag the sun down, just so he could get to be with her again. The simple kisses and touches were everything and he often wished Ed would hurry up and die, so he could get them in the daylight too.  
It wasn't exactly a private meetup. Glenn stood near their tent, to keep an ear out for Sophia and Shane was close by on watch.  
Each night was the same, only now they were in the cab of his truck. It was safer and he would like to say that that's what led them there, but that would assume he was thinking clearly. Honestly, it was more about getting her alone, or as close as they could ever get it.  
As usual the only thing that covered them was the darkness the night brought, even that was interrupted by the few fires they kept burning in the camp.

Being alone with her meant peace, even if it was only for a few minutes. It made the paranoid thoughts become so quiet that they were only a whisper in the back of his mind. The ideas of violent retaliations and vicious reactions were dimmed, until he could only focus on her.  
She straddled his lap while her hands moved rapidly over his neck, into his hair, down his face and on to his shoulders. Never stopping for more than a second. As if her fingers were trying to memorise every bit of him that they could.

After twenty minutes or so, he could feel her slowing her pace. Her hands were moving more gently over his chest than they had seconds before and he knew what it meant. He followed her lead, letting his palms graze over her back and down to her waist. He enjoyed the last few seconds of her lips pressed to his, before he let his head drop back to watch her.  
He watched as she steadied herself and pulled away, unable to take his eyes off her face. There was a light glow of her skin and he could only slightly make out her features as she paused and looked at him, but it was enough to see the lust that still lingered over her features.

He reached up and cupped her cheek with his hand, rubbing his thumb over the soft skin. He had reasoned with himself, that he knew her long enough to want her, to care about her, even long enough to let himself need her. But what he wasn't sure about, was that he had known her long enough to love her.  
He looked at her and wondered what would give him the right to feel this way,  
was there an appropriate amount of time that needed to pass?  
Did he need to screw around with her first?  
Was he meant to wait for her to say it?  
None of it seemed like enough. None of it seemed like it would make him worthy of being allowed to love someone like her.  
He felt like he needed to give her something, something big and invaluable, but he didn't have anything to offer.  
All he did know, was that he loved her. And the idea of it was horrifying and yet somehow more inviting than anything. It tore at something inside, because he was sure he simply didn't deserve her and sooner or later she would realise it too.

"You ok?" she asked as she studied the worried look on his face.

"I am", realising as he answered, that was very the problem. He was more ok than he had been in a long time, possibly more than he had been in his life and he didn't know he could cope with the loss of something so consuming. There was still the chance that he would fuck it all up and he would have to deal with the aftermath of this contentment. And then the knots would return to his stomach, only this time they would twist in place and cement them self into a position that they would never untie from.

* * *

He watched Carol doing the laundry, wanting to go and help her when Lori beat him to it. He settled for standing on the outskirts of the Camp, looking around for stray walkers, when he noticed Sophia sitting in the dirt. Carl had been with her only moments before, but now she was alone, flicking through the pages of a book. Her free hand plucked at the few remaining threads that covered her knee and he struggled not to roll his eyes.  
The camp was busy, the only two people who seemed to notice her sitting alone, was him and Ed.  
Ed had himself leaned into a tree while he had a smoke, his eyes were fixed on the kids back, making Daryl's skin crawl.  
Daryl watched as Ed rolled on his heels, taking a step towards the kid, making his heart suddenly race and his mouth go dry. The ideas of violent retaliations and vicious reactions returning to his mind as he himself stepped forward.  
"Sophia" The kids head snapped up, curiously looking at him. Her name fell out of his mouth before he had a chance to consider what he was doing.  
He didn't know if Ed was heading over to her or not, but he wasn't going to stand around waiting to see.  
"give me a hand"  
She didn't seem to need any more than that. She jumped to her feet and dusted herself off before making her way over to him.  
Sophia made him nervous as always, even as she walked over he noticed her checking around for danger and rubbing her arm anxiously as if he was mad at her. But none of that made him nearly as nervous, as he felt leaving her alone. He slung his crossbow on his back, watching as Ed suddenly froze in his tracks glaring at Daryl, as he wandered off with his Sophia by his side.

* * *

He tried not to look up at Ed as collected more sticks and branches, but it didn't matter, he could feel Ed's eyes fixed on him and it was obvious why.  
"what about this? Is it to big?" The voice was muffled and quiet as always, but he had gotten used to deciphering her whispers.  
He turned to see the kid behind him. Her arms were already full of as many sticks as she could carry, but he looked down to see her shoe nudging a large branch on the ground.  
"It'll do fine" he said as he reached down to grab the branch, deciding they had enough. They had most likely pushed Ed as far as he could be pushed, without making him snap.

He turned to start walking when he realised he couldn't hear her light footsteps following him. He swung his head over his shoulder to see her wide eyes looking at him. He scolded himself, thinking of the hundred other things he could have gotten her to do, ones that didn't end in an argument less than a week ago.

"c'mon" he mumbled, waiting for her to take a step before he turned to walk back to their tent.  
He heard her quicken her pace until she was by his side, so close that her elbow was bumping into him as they walked. Ed's eyes were locked on him as he approached and he wondered for a moment how he would be able to fight with the kid so close, hoping she had the mind to get out of the way.  
Ed's outrage seemed to be rising to the surface as he and Sophia got to their tent, making Daryl pause and wonder what was about to happen. He could feel the kids elbow leaning into his side, wishing more than anything that she would just go over to Carol.  
The canteen Ed was gripping was suddenly tossed to the ground as he stood and stormed off. In the same moment, the kid dropped the pile of fire wood to her feet. The sound made his head swing down in time to watch her fingers grab a handful of his shirt and attempt to yank him in front of her. It took the kid a second to realise that Ed was leaving and not coming at them. But in that moment, he knew exactly what the tensed tiny digits reminded him off. He had flashes of watching his hands do the same thing, grabbing a hold of Merle, as if he was a shield. Even when Merle was gone he remembered his small weak hands holding weapons, knifes, crossbows, rifles, anything to make him feel safe, when he was so far from it.

Even as her fingers untangled themselves from the fistful of fabric, he was still stunned by the concept. He had to wonder how he missed it, when it was so obvious. He was a shield to her, a weapon. What he couldn't figure out was why the idea irritated him. Nothing had changed, he'd protect her from anything and everything, that's what he had signed up for. So why did it matter that she knew that.

* * *

He rubbed the back of his neck, as if the movement would help relieve some tension.  
"I won't let them out of my sight, you have my word on that" Shane promised, keeping his voice firm as if to enforce the words.  
Daryl nodded in response as he looked over Shane's shoulder to the girls eating their dinner. He knew he would have to go eventually, they were running low on rations and the only way to stretch them out was to hunt. A group would be going out to scavenge in a few days but it didn't matter, this still had to be done.

"You should get an early night, maybe if you head off at first light you can..." Shane stopped midsentence, watching Daryl's arm drop from his neck in defeat. Daryl knew his face must have reflected all his worries and concerns but he couldn't find it in himself to try and hide them.  
"I swear it Daryl, I'll keep an eye on em"  
He wanted to tell Shane that he trusted him, because he had no reason not to. Instead all he could do was nod, as his mind raced through the thousand things that could go wrong.

* * *

He wished he had of at least gone on watch until after he met up with her, but he was having trouble dragging himself away. He knew if he could hear them sleeping, he knew they were safe and he wanted to enjoy that for as long as he could.

He sat quietly until he heard the tents zipper slowly come down and watched her step out.  
"hey" he whispered, trying not to startle her.  
Her head spun in his direction and her shocked expression relaxed at the sight of him, sitting at her feet.  
"Where you off too?" he asked with a cocky smile, that she returned, as she sat on the ground by his side.  
"having an early night?" she questioned softly.  
"Yeah, I'm gonna leave as soon as the suns up" he said, throwing some more wood on the fire.  
"you'll be careful, right?" the words seem to scratch out of her throat, making him look over to see her fearful and anxious expression.  
It had never occurred to him that she was concerned he would get hurt out there. That she was just as worried about him, as he was about her.  
He wanted to tell her so many things, but his body seem to take over, making him lean in and press his lips to hers. He felt her palms slide around his neck, holding him in place for a few seconds longer. He sat with his brow leaning into hers, watching as a small smile appeared on her lips, making him want to kiss them again.  
"You need a good night's sleep" she said, interrupting his thoughts before he could act on them. He nodded, before moving back in closer to kiss her again, not taking too much notice of what she was saying. His lips had barely brushed over hers when she slowly pulled away and started standing up, her hands curling into his, pulling him to his feet with her.  
He followed her, without thinking, until she started leading him to her bed.  
He mumbled out her name, half wondering if she was aware that she was still holding his hand. That maybe she was unknowingly taking him into the tent. But as soon as she turned to look at him, he realised she knew exactly what she was doing.  
He was sure he looked nervous, even though it was the middle of the night and there was no one around but their usual audience, he still found himself looking over his shoulder.  
"Come on" he turned back to her again, seeing the same sweet and sincere smile etched on her face. His mouth hung open as she crawled into the tent and pulled the blanket across, waiting for him to get in. He considered what he was doing, how it could all go wrong when he saw her reach out to him, urging him to get into bed, making him bite his bottom lip and look around once more.  
He shook his head and gave up, sinking into the tent as quietly as he could so he didn't wake the kid, but also as quickly as he could, sure if he kept lingering in the doorway he ran the risk of Ed seeing him.  
He sat down on her bed, feeling a wave of nervousness wash over him, as she zipped the tent closed. He was so worried about what trouble this would cause that he hadn't thought about the fact that he had never in his life sept next to someone. She turned to crawl over next to him as she slid her legs under to covers.  
"It's ok, lay down"  
He lowered his back down onto the mat, trying to relax, wondering why she was waiting for him to settle before she laid down. He paused as she grabbed his wrist and moved his arm over so she could position herself at his side. Within a second she was resting on his chest and he wondered if she could hear his heart pounding, as the weight of her steadied on him.  
He felt her hands slid up his shirt to rest on his stomach and her leg slide over his thigh, until most of her body was sprawled over his. He considered if she was referring to the comfort of the tent, when she said that he needed a good sleep. Or did she know it would have the same reaction as when he kissed her. Every tensed part of him eased and voices in his head grew silent, until all he could think of was her.  
He folded his arms around her, as his body relaxed into hers and he released the nervous breath he was holding.  
The intimacy of it was something he hadn't expected and never thought for a second it was something to sought after. But now he didn't want to ever sleep without her in his arms again. All those nights of lying awake, feeling sick and alone, seemed so far away, even unthinkable, because he couldn't imagine feeling that way anymore, especially with her covering him over like a protective armour, something so strong that nothing bad could ever pierce through.

* * *

He woke up wishing more than anything he could stay there with her; the pressure of her weight over him had only made him more comfortable. It had pushed him into a deeper sleep than he knew was possible, without a substantial amount of alcohol to bring it on.  
He would be quite happy to stay in this position with her all day if he could. But at the same time, he wanted to get up and get out of there, so he could hopefully get back sooner. He laid awake, enjoying the feeling of her body covering his, waiting for the sun to rise before he slowly slid his body out from under hers.  
He watched her settle in place before he climbed out from under the warm covers. He slid his legs out and crouched forward on his heels. He planned every movement as he crawled through the tent, keeping a close eye on Sophia, while hoping that he could leave without her ever knowing he had been there.  
Just when he thought he had been successful at getting away unnoticed, he stepped out, seeing Rick looking right at him before turning away with a quizzical smile on his face.

He was always unsure if Rick approved of him being with Carol, when it was causing so much trouble. So, he could only imagine what he was thinking now.  
He shook his head to himself and opened his duffel bag, going through his clothes and trying to find his jacket when he noticed Merles leather vest. He pulled the item out slowly and examined it for a few minutes before putting it on. He slid the wings over his back and wondered why Merle had bothered to carry it around for months and never wore it. No matter what Merle was to everyone else, he was still his brother and this was the last way he had to prove that it still mattered. He wasn't someone he was going to forget and not someone he was going to let go off, he'd carry that with him, like Merle had done with the vest.  
"You gonna leave without saying goodbye?" Carol asked as she emerged from the tent, flashing a faint smile that he desperately wanted to return, but couldn't bring himself too.  
"Yeah" he assured her, knowing there was no way he could ever say the words to her.

He hardly looked at her before he sat down and started putting his boots on, fully aware that Rick was watching and Ed could wake at any moment. That awareness only intensified as she sat next to him, her side pressing into his, her hand resting on his lower back.

"It's one day. We'll be ok for one day" she spoke so confidently that his eyes broke away from his boots to look at her. She sounded sure of herself, yet he was positive she was only reacting to the concern emitting from him.  
He nodded in response, realising they would both be lying if he agreed, so he remained silent as his eyes drifted from hers, back down to the task at hand.  
He wondered how many times he had to be told that they would be ok, before he could believe it. Positive that number didn't even exist.  
He listened as Carol let out a sigh, knowing she hadn't convinced him, rising to her feet alongside him. He threw his backpack over one shoulder and looked her up and down, he was ready to go but she seemed to be getting closer and he wondered what she was thinking.  
He looked passed her, over to Rick who was occasionally glancing over at them, but pretending not to, then over to Ed's tent. Wondering how quick Rick could move to her defence if everything went wrong, praying that Shane would keep his promise. Wondering what would happen if he didn't make it back and she was all alone. Wondering what it was that was going to go wrong, because something surely would.  
His mind filled with more and more possibilities, when suddenly he felt her cool palms cover his cheeks, guiding his lips down to hers.  
The sweet taste of her lips that had often made his mind blank, now seemed to only make the thoughts more vivid, but he suddenly didn't care that Rick was close by watching. Her lips left his and he felt her ready herself to pull away from him. He wasn't ready for that. Without considering any consequences or eyes on them, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest, holding her there for far too long as he buried his face into her neck.  
He realised right then that he didn't know how to tell her how he felt. The words couldn't form in his mouth and he doubted they could ever break through his lips. He didn't understand why it felt like the simple sentence seemed to be trapped in his chest, or how everyone else seem to be able to declare their feelings as if the words were as light as a feather. He left with them trapped inside and maybe it would stay that way.  
He hated himself for that.

* * *

A/N: Ok, so it's safe to say we are reaching the halfway mark.. these chapters may seem a bit boring, but it is all about details at the moment. It might take me awhile to get the next few chapters done because they are important for the main part of the story.  
 _Reviews are awesome, so be sure to leave one. They are really encouraging and really appreciated_


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: We all change**

He returned home to her warm smile.  
She briskly walked up to him and gripped her hand around his arm. Squeezing it tightly before her fingers glided down his wrist and touched his hand. It seemed simple and subtle but It was enough to let him know that she had missed him. She was glad he was home safety. He'd never had that before.

Weeks passed and most days he would be out hunting. Every day he hurried back, expecting disaster.  
But nothing.  
Everything was going smoothly, but it only made him even more unsettled.

There was the occasional stray walker that got close to camp, but it was always taken care of quickly. As usual the only thing he had to worry about was Ed. The guy hadn't done anything in weeks. He had stopped snickering under his breath when he saw him sitting to close to carol, no more outbursts when he saw Sophia helping him out with mundane chores. Most people would settle in and think that everything was going to be ok. But he just couldn't bring himself to believe that Ed Peletier had just moved on.

Ed had been quietly avoiding everyone, without any complaints. But the 'flying under the radar' game was making Daryl more nervous than seeing Ed loose it. At least when he was acting like a prick, he knew what he was thinking. The prick had always made sure everyone knew what he was thinking. Now he had to sit back and wonder what he was planning, just hoping that he was around when it revealed itself.

"Daryl?"

He turned to look at her from his usual spot, her voice snapping him out of a daze once again.  
"I need the tray" she said lightly laughing, with just a hint of annoyance running through her tone.  
He shook his head to himself and handed her the tray of meat. He could see by her expression that he was making her anxious, watching Ed all the time like he was waiting for a bomb to go off. But now he couldn't help himself. He wanted to know what the prick was up to.

He stood beside her while she cooked, listening to her talk about how she wanted a shower or a bath, anything to get the sweat of her. The conversation had his attention but it made his mind wonder off into a whole new train of thought.  
It was something that had finally taken his mind of Ed and impending disaster and onto thinking about a few of the good things he had yet to encounter.  
It wasn't like they hadn't gotten close.  
Only a week ago he was sure they were minutes away.

 _He had her on his lap in the back of his truck. Everything was going as it normally did. As the minutes passed the touches and kisses seemed to get more heated. Without warning they both started to forget themselves. They forget that Glenn was waiting on them or that Shane was nearby.  
He couldn't pay attention to anything but her pulling his shirt over his head, her lips suddenly planting rough kisses on his neck as her fingers pressing into the skin on his chest.  
There was an unanticipated desire to feel her skin on his. That desire took over, guiding his hands over her waist and under her shirt, until he was pulling her shirt off and tossing it aside.  
He yanked her closer, until her breasts were in his face and he began running his tongue over the soft skin, he could feel her hand moving down his chest to his pants. She yanked on his belt like she was seconds away from unbuckling it, when her hand suddenly froze and she pulled away.  
In the same moment, he stopped to look at her in the warm dim light. Wondering if he had done something wrong, or hurt her. His mind raced, trying to remember if his hands had squeezed to tight or he had said anything to bring on the grim and timid expression she now had.  
"You ok?" he asked quickly as she leant over him grabbing her shirt.  
"I'm fine" she said, cutting him of as she slid the shirt back on and began climbing off him.  
He had questions. A lot of them, but she didn't give him a chance to ask them.  
She told him he had to get back to Sophia and ran off leaving him shirtless in the back of his truck, wondering what happened. He wouldn't have cared if she wanted to stop, but he didn't understand why she looked at him like that.  
He sat there going over everything in his mind again, trying to figure it out, but he couldn't understand what brought it on. He prayed that he hadn't done something that reminded her of Ed, or that the thought of him was inescapable in that moment. Maybe she felt guilty, like she was betraying him._

 _T- Dog eventually came and took over for him, so he could get some sleep. Being relieved of his duties was something he was usually grateful for, but tonight he was nervous.  
He settled outside the tent on his sleeping bag, that was still laid out on the ground.  
He sat there biting his fingernails down when he heard her say his name. He felt so sick with himself that he almost didn't want to answer her. He knelt in front of the tent and unzipped the entry, expecting the same expression he had seen in the back of his truck. The fire glowed into the tent, to see her usual warm smile but it was now flooded with regret.  
"Are you coming to bed" she asked as if she was unsure he would want to, making him more confused.  
He didn't hesitate, crawling into the tent as he did ever night, closing the entry behind him before lowering himself down next to her.  
He automatically opened his arm, waiting for her to press her body to his side, instantly relaxing his tensed muscles when she did.  
They laid in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the feeling of her stretched out over him, thankful she wasn't mad at him, but still not sure if he had done something wrong.  
He chewed his lip nervously as he ran through the events in his mind once again, until he realised there was one question he needed answered.  
"did I hurt ya?" he asked with a low muffled voice, horrified that the answer would be yes.  
He felt her body stiffen up as she took in his words, her head turning up to look at him from where she rested on his chest.  
"Of course, not" she replied carefully, making sure he knew she wasn't lying.  
"Then did I"  
"It wasn't you" she said cutting him of before he could find another way to blame himself.  
"It's just. I'm." was all she could seem to manage and he felt like his silence was forcing her to continue. He tightened his hold on her, hoping it would relate some understanding.  
"I'm in no hurry" he said as he rested his chin on the top of her head, soothingly moving his hands over back until she fell asleep._

Again, he was snapped out of his daze by her voice.  
Sophia stood up from where she had been sitting at his side, eagerly taking the two bowls, from her mother. He watched as the kid took two steps away before she turned to face him. He gawked at the kid confused, wondering why she was staring at him.  
"Go and have dinner Daryl" Carol said as she busied herself with the task. He looked around and noticed Ed making his way over to the line of people waiting for their serving. The kid holding his bowl and waiting for him to make his move.  
"I'll help ya" he said, his voice sounding more nervous than he would have liked. He was only annoying her more with the offer.  
"Daryl, go have dinner" she said forcing a smile while she filled Glenn's bowl.  
"I can serve dinner" she said sternly. His eye caught Glenn who looked more than a little uncomfortable at being in the middle of the conversation.  
He stood up ready to leave, watching Ed at the back of the line. His focus turned back to Carol who was raising her eyebrows at him, encouraging him to leave. He let out a heavy breath and nodded to Sophia who had been waiting patiently. "come on then"

* * *

He sat quietly with Sophia in front of their tent. As usual the kid didn't talk to him, not that he would have noticed if she did. He looked past Sophia and over to her mother who was serving everyone with a pleasant smile. He watched her briefly talk with Rick and Andrea, watched her give Carl and Lori a bright grin, then he watched her eyes drop down as Ed approached. She poured the stew into the bowl and held the bowl to him without lifting her head once.  
Ed's eyes were fixed in on her, as if he was looking for something. Then suddenly a small curve emerged on Ed's lips as he scanned her up and down. Even as he walked away and sat down to eat the grin remained.  
Nothing had happened, she was right, she was fine. But that wasn't what had his fists clenched.  
He looked at how Ed sheepishly moved around her, trying to calm her down in his presence. Slowly Ed had been getting closer, quieter. He wondered if this was a strategy Ed had tried before and had it worked.

When Carol joined them to eat, he found himself looking at her, wondering what was going through her head.  
He listened as the self-doubting voice returned, the one that lived in the back of his mind. It reared up loudly, asking him questions he had no answer too.  
Did he really know what he was doing?  
What if he'd been wrong?  
He was in love with her, but was she in love with him?  
Was that why she had stopped and ran off that night, because she was still in love with Ed?  
He had only been with her for a few weeks, while she and Ed had been together for years, they had a kid together. They had a life. All he had was a few stolen moments hidden in amongst this chaos.

He found himself staring at her. The voice flooded his mind as he watched her eat, until he noticed her hand curved around the spoon and the gold wedding band wrapped around her finger. The wedding ring had been the source of Ed's smile and the assurance that the voice in his head had needed. The glint of the gold gave it the fuel to create an inescapable swarm of thoughts that left him in a panic. Left him wondering if everything he had would soon be ripped away and he would have to sit back and watch the Peletier family reunite.

* * *

"I'll go and get some" T-dog offed as Shane pointed out that they needed more water. He jumped at the opportunity.  
"I got it" he said making his way over to the truck, the familiar sound of the light steps following him. He had been doing a good job at avoiding Carol all morning and felt the need to continue with it before night hit and he would have to be alone with her, knowing the racing thoughts would soon emerge in her presence.

He watched the kid dip the drum into the stream before she struggled to drag it out. Her shoulders fell forward and her arms stretched out as she used all her strength to pull the small drum out. He dumped his jug into the back of the truck and made his way over to her. Even when he was close enough for her to hear him, she kept going, trying to get it done.  
"Need a hand?" he asked, wondering why she seemed so determined to complete the job on her own. She looked up at him, her face full of anguish and despair, he knew the feeling well, but he didn't understand how a water jug could bring on so much self-hatred. He let out a heavy sigh and took one side of the jug.  
"come on" he said,  
A small smile formed as her eyes met his and she lifted the jug with him and took it over to the truck. He didn't know why finishing the chore meant so much to her, he didn't know why it mattered at all. But it had.  
He watched her smiling to herself as she jumped into the truck, trying to understand what had just happened, but he had to accept that there was more to it and he didn't know her well enough to figure it out.

He drove the truck up the path, back to the camp. Every now and then looking over to the kid who was gazing out the window, watching the trees pass her by.  
He was used to her being silently at his side. He never once got the feeling she liked him or had questions for him. She just wanted to be where she felt safe and he liked that he didn't have to wonder where she was. It freed up a lot of space in his head.

He parked the truck in its usual spot on the outskirts of the camp. He looked over, noticing Carl as he made his way to them. Sophia turned to look at him after she swung the door open, her eye met his for a moment before she leapt from the car and went off into the crowded camp with her friend.  
He knew she wasn't awaiting permission from him, or anything really, but she always looked at him the same way before she wondered of. An empty and emotionless guise that he could never decrypt.

* * *

He walked through the camp, over to the tent. He wanted to make sure he had everything ready to head out in the morning, when he noticed her sitting on his sleeping bag, the mock bed that he still pretended to use.  
She looked up as he approached and he realised she was sewing up the holes on Sophia pants, the tears that her tiny fingers had created. He thought about wondering back the way he came, maybe go and collect some sticks or something. Anything. Until he heard her voice.  
"Everything go alright" she asked as her eyes focused back on the needle and thread.  
"Yeah, she's with Carl and Lori" he said, nervously sitting himself down beside her. Carol nodded at the information and forced the needle through the fabric once more.  
"She always done that" Daryl asked looking at the bright red patches that were now covering the knees of the kids pants. Carol seemed to consider the question for a moment before looking up at him. "Yeah, since she was small, but it's gotten worse the last year or so". He watched her shrug and look back down to the pants and began finishing up the patches.  
"We do strange things when we're not coping, I guess" she said quietly, her voice flooded with guilt that he desperately wanted to erase, but knew he never could.  
As he sat quietly considering the statement he felt her eyes on him again.  
"You wanna talk about it"  
"bout what" he answered far too quickly, his brow creasing as he did.  
"You've barely spoken in days" she said setting the pants down and turning to face him. He rubbed his arm nervously and looked around, trying to find a way out of this conversation.  
"Well, when you're ready" she said softly, seemingly comfortable with leaving it at that. He couldn't bring himself to look at her as she suddenly stood up, her hand touching his shoulder as she passed him. Leaving him to get ready.

* * *

"Shouldn't you be getting some sleep" Shane asked as Daryl grabbed the shotgun out of the weapons bag. He shrugged as he made sure it was loaded.  
"Your heading out tomorrow, right"  
Daryl nodded snapping the gun closed, "Can't sleep, might as well be useful"  
He headed over to his usual spot by his truck, trying to get away before he was asked anymore questions he didn't want to answer.  
He had only been there a minute when he heard her coming up behind him, not attempting in the least to be quiet about it. He forced himself not to turn and face her, though he wasn't sure why.  
She walked up quickly and stood in front of him, forcing him to look at her.  
"You can't do this. You can't pull away." she said firmly, keeping her voice low, though it was obviously a struggle.  
"I'm not going anywhere" he mumbled, his voice soaked in a fear that he was horrified to admit.  
The sound of his words scratching out of his throat seemed to instantly extinguish her frustration and she tilted her head, trying to get a better look at his face in the moonlight.  
"He's up to something" he said looking past her and into the darkness.  
"So what, he always is"  
"He wants you back" he said, once again his words stammered, making him cringe. He felt exposed and vulnerable and worst of all he realised he was even jealous of that prick.  
He froze as her hands slid into his arms and she moved closer.  
"I know what he's doing but it doesn't matter." Slowly her words started to drown out the voice in his mind once more.

"Hey" she said softly, to grab his full attention, that he granted by meeting her gaze.  
"You can't keep all this in your head. You've got to talk to me" he nodded as his body gave in and his hand slid onto her hips.  
"I want you" she added, assuring the voice in his head was silenced. He was sure his heart nearly stopped when she spoke the words. He wanted to reply but for the longest time he just looked at her, he searched her face for an uncertainty that didn't exist, for a reason to think she was lying, because that would be so much easier to believe before accepting that she did want him. But the only thing he found conviction and assurance.  
He wanted to know why or how. Why did she want him, how did she seem so certain? But instead of asking he smiled, because he realised it didn't matter. He watched as her face light up, revealing an expression that forced his hand up to her face, so he could run his fingers over her cheek.  
He ducked his head down to hers, their lips pressing together for a warm, gentle kiss that he dragged out for as long as he could. As their lips separated he left his brow pressed into hers, finding he was unable to wipe the smile from his face.

* * *

He had only walked a few miles away from the camp when he spotted the deer. He instantly froze and lined the crossbow up, with the release of the bolt it was over.  
He couldn't believe how lucky he was. Finally, it felt like everything was going his way. He had been fortunate to get a few possums and squirrels the past few weeks but this, this would finally be a proper meal.  
He took a few quick breaths, bracing himself as he threw the carcass over his shoulder and started on the short walk back to the camp.

When he got back he watched as everyone's faces light up at the sight of the deer. Rick and Shane quickly approached, taking the deer of his shoulders, patting him on the back and thanking him as they did. Everyone was more grateful than he had expected, but in amongst the gratitude everyone was showing him, he saw her face. She was more than just thankful, she was proud him. That made his heart swell in a way he didn't think was possible.

* * *

The three of them sat outside their tent eating, talking about some weird story she had read, when the ring caught his eye again. He decided to make his peace with the piece of jewellery, whatever it had symbolised, it didn't matter anymore.  
He instantly dropped his gaze back to his food, but it had been too late. Carol paused looking at her hand and the wedding ring wrapped around her finger. He looked up at her when he realised she had stopped talking, seeing her gaze caught on the ring she had obviously forgotten about. He gave her a small smile, trying to assure her it didn't matter.  
"What were ya saying" he asked as he took another bite. She returned a faint smile and started babbling about the book she had read a long time ago. He listened to every word, but it was obvious now that her mind was elsewhere.

* * *

There were only a few of them left awake. The people on watch, along with Dale and T-dog, who had been talking for most of the night, by the fire.  
Carol had sent Sophia off to bed hours before and now it was just him and her leaning into each other, watching the flames dance in front of them. She rested her head on his shoulder and for the first time he didn't look around to see who was watching, he just planted a kiss in her hair and moved closer to her.  
"This is nice" he said quietly, hearing her hum in agreement.  
He grabbed another stick and snapped it in half before throwing it on the fire. He was ready to relax back into her side when she suddenly jumped to her feet.  
"I'll be right back", he was so shocked by the sudden movement that he didn't have a chance to respond.  
He watched her walk over to Dale and ask him something, before they both disappeared out of sight.  
He watched as she emerged from the RV with a confident smile on her face, making her way over to him, something tightly in her grasp.  
She sat down in front of him, crossing her legs and handing him the small bolt cutters.  
"Will you help me", he raised an eyebrow at the question, puzzled about what she wanted him to do with the tool.  
"Last time someone gave me bolt cutters and asked for my help I ended up in a shit load of trouble" She laughed and shook her head, holding her hand out in front of him.  
"Dale said it should work" he looked down at her hand realising what she wanted him to do.  
"No, it will work. But...You don't have to, it doesn't bother me" he said softly, assuring her.  
"it bothers me." She said with an unquestionably certain tone, shaking her head as she spoke.  
"I haven't been able to get it off in years, this is the only way."  
He looked at the ring and back to her, examining the smile still spread over her lips. She looked eager and ready, he had no right to question that. He didn't want to.  
He nodded to himself and took her hand, placing it on his knee, her palm facing up.

He positioned the cutters, sliding one side under the tight band,  
"Does that hurt?" he asked, seeing how tightly the tool was wedged between her finger and the ring. "It doesn't" she answered, her eyes fixed on it like she was waiting on him to cut handcuffs from her wrists. With that thought he squeezed down and watched the gold split open. He slid the cutters out and used his fingers to bend the broken band, removing the proof of her marriage from her hand.

He looked at the broken and twisted ring before handing it to her, not knowing what else to do with it. He had only just placed it into her hand when she quickly tossed it into the fire without a second thought. His eyes followed the small object over to the fire, in shock at the swift reaction. His mouth was hanging open when he looked back over to her, he wasn't sure what he had expected her to do with it, but he hadn't expected her to seemingly not care in the slightest. Her palms reached up and rested on his cheeks bringing him forward so she could place a small kiss on his lips, before she pulled away. She flashed her hopeful and contagious smile at him once more,  
"Let's go to bed"  
He nodded in agreement to the request, leaning in and kissing her once more before they headed into the tent together.

* * *

He couldn't remember what they had laid in bed talking about, or what she had said to make him laugh so much. He did remember being happy.  
He knew that things were different and it was because he had talked to her. She was right, he couldn't live in his own head anymore. He had to let her in, even if he was scared. He could see now that this was the payoff. He would just get closer to her, closer than he had been to anyone.  
Slowly he could feel all those things he wanted to tell her growing lighter, they no longer felt like a brick caught in his chest. They began to shift from the sunken spot and he was sure they eventually would be light enough to drift out of his mouth.

He watched her intently, occasionally she would look in his direction and flash a smile that he had never seen before. Her lashes fluttered and her cheeks blushed each time, before her head dipped down to focus on serving breakfast. He was so focused on watching her that he didn't realise that Ed was approaching her with his plate. It all happened in a second, but he didn't miss the way Ed's eye caught the absence of the wedding band. Daryl didn't miss the glare he gave Carol, who had refused to meet his gaze once more. He certainly didn't miss the way he turned to face Daryl, looking at him as if he wanted to come over and choke the life from him.

* * *

He stood with her, hanging up the wet clothes on the makeshift clothesline. He kept looking over at her, seemingly unable to help himself. Occasionally looking at Sophia, who had sat herself in her usual spot by his side. Hoping the kid hadn't noticed him checking out her mother.

He knelt to get more clothes from the basket when she did. It had been hours since he had his hands on her, he couldn't resist reaching over to run this thumb over her hand. Watching as her eyes briefly closed at the touch, before he grabbed another item to hang up. They were almost finished when they heard Carl call out for Sophia. Once again, the kid's eyes met his before she looked to her mother, faintly smiling as she got up to go.  
He watched the kid meet up with Carl and Lori, noticing the book in her hand. They went and sat by Rick who was caught up in conversation with Shane and Glenn. She was safe, he thought.  
He looked around briefly to see if anyone was watching them as he slid his fingers through hers. She stopped and smiled at him. Her cheeks instantly turning pink when her eyes met his.  
"Come on" he whispered, nodding to the Forrest behind him. She looked over her shoulder and when she turned back he noticed her biting her lower lip before she released it. He didn't need an answer, the warm and seductive expression she held was enough to have him leading away from the camp.  
He was close enough to the site that he could still faintly hear them all talking, far enough away that he was sure they couldn't be seen. He stopped and looked around before turned to face her. He used the gentle hold he had on her hand, to pull in close. A groan flared up from his chest, surprising them both, but he noticed she seemed to like the unruly sound. He smiled and slowly bowed down to lightly pressing his curved lips into hers. He felt her hand rise under his shirt, her fingers lightly tracing the muscles on his stomach while the other hand rested on his hip, holding him in place. He responded by kissing her lips lightly, grazing them with his teeth before using his tongue to slowly part her lips.  
He didn't feel the need to roughly grab her anymore or get as much of her as he could before she walked away. He liked the slow pace, the tender and considerate touches. He didn't need to take advantage of every of every second, because this wouldn't be the last time he got to kiss her. She wasn't going anywhere and neither was he, she _wanted_ him and he knew that now. That fact seemed to calm something that had been festering inside of him. And that peace of mind slowed his thoughts, his lips and his hands.

* * *

The next morning, he ate breakfast with them sneaking smiles and touches from Carol as usual. When they were done Carol told him she was going to help Laurie fold the laundry. He didn't think much of it, watching her walk away and wondering what he was going to do to keep himself busy.

"We should go down to the stream for a drive, get some more water. Might as well have a look for some fire wood while were down there." He said to Sophia while he rinsed of their dirty plates from breakfast.  
"I'm not ready" he looked down, noticing the kid was still wearing the same thing she had on yesterday.  
He gave her a nod, "Well get ready, I'll wait by the truck" he said as he wiped the plates off and she briskly left his side.

He leaned into the tray of his truck, openly watching Carol fold the laundry. She was caught up in a conversation with Laurie. She was laughing and giving Laurie a light shove at whatever joke Laurie had just told her.  
He hadn't noticed it until now, but she was different. She'd changed so quietly that he hadn't noticed. That crying women he saw walking up the road battered and bruised, she seemed like a completely different person to the joyful one he was now watching. The thought grabbed his attention, wondering if there was a moment he had missed or if it was a bunch of ones he hadn't, and they were what made her into this vivacious woman standing before him.

He started to wonder how long he had been standing there, wondering what the kid was doing.  
He turned around to look for her and tell her to hurry it up.  
He had expected to see her near the tent, getting ready. But as he scanned the camp his eyes caught her. Within that second the air was knocked out of his chest.  
Ed was kneeling in front of her. His finger in her face as he spoke to her. But that wasn't what made him break inside. It was the kid. The devastated expression saturating her soft features, had instantly made every drop of blood in his veins boil.

* * *

 **A/N:** The next chapter is the turning point for the whole story, so I just wanted to let you guys know a few things before I go any further. Occasionally there will be short chapters that will be from Carol's perspective and they will have (Carol POV) added into the title. I know the story is mainly focused on Daryl's side of the story, so I will add that in so there's no confusion.  
Flashbacks will also be included in the following chapters, these will be written in _italics_.  
Be sure to leave a review, they are really appreciated and encouraging.


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